Category: philosophy

The anger at seeing communities of people with the great drug connections and how spoiled spirituality they are makes me feel that God hates me.
I’ve ground morning glory seeds with a friend (like me having shit luck lives’). Ultimately not getting high. Then I buy some root powder and fuck that up somehow, not getting high. It can be very deflating. My life mission has been a failure (If I have to hear about one more person transcendant acid or DMT experience and how enlightened they are I’m going to fucking freak out).

Nothing again as once before. I’m my own trainer, task master, lover, and shoffer and what’s to say of these services. Me and my wine filled brain dance as spirit to toe that is air through which but tied cosmic melody of spirit. I can tell I can teach stopping is how you don’t get caught doing anything. Oatherly. They so desperately enjoyed. What they think to know is nothing from a far side. Let me most important as logos say coming from a extra crunchy peanut butter sandwich consisting of two slices of whole grain bread. That to note what is true as far as truth can only be illusion as describing is my brother not the way of myself but then I to what we should not speak noth of persish reality ingrained in our very way of speech. A serious joke. Explain. A broken heart is like not drinking enough water and is it fair to say that is we all feel the same amount? The Existence condition & living question. True starvation is death. Pure agony is music. In a blink of a eye a fly dies Silence there after. How short lived and long remembered. True reason without cause is meaningless. Therefore jagged I’m told to my end. An accordion breaths good music. Exceptional and extraordinary sitting in a tree kissing. Your good spirits can make you clumsy. When feeling most down your close ones will treat you unwell and when feeling good your close ones treat you much better. Why is that? How to move knowing that greatness can’t serve injustice. A trice way. The triangle has haunted me most my life with people. It’s not a bad number. I’ve just yet to master it. We both don’t want to hear what the other has to say and that goes both ways and It Is what it is. Penalization for indecent conduct, style yes my dearest darling in what imagined to tell you the tale of the ether in which I am bound now because of you in most you want to know how it has in took and given and now infused and imprinted both ways as it happens. A well of words to in other words must see your hand and eyes realism perhaps time and space. Subsist. We compete for affection… against ourselves. I’m a man not a fish. I’m a person not a salamander. Muscle contractions for it’s the good way. A place to not imagine is all but how ever why has it got mixed up, messed up… I stay away both ways. I’m not pissed I’m just heading to the bathroom.

It’s about having a space and having some stuff and eventually the stuff to make it happen. Why when talking of contemporary man is work and pleasure the hardest pursuits one can have. I think I need to know that the arts are great but can be a critical mistake towards the aim of work and pleasure of success worldly. It is the attraction with wanting to me immortal and to gain mastery over things that by being an artist and having the ability to create and leave behind work is the artist’s folly lackey or master. For this he may experience personal moments of adulation but feel great pain as the work was just something to do and then lose focus and fail to realize the way of the world as it most appropriately described as a business model for all things pay a price. The miserly people are the ones who are focused on the worldly success and greed with power hungriness being their main attribute and these people are very business oriented.

My business is just not feeling bad lets say more than feeling good for the real test of life would be how much of it was one or the other. If just feeling one mostly then the other would be a sign that your not a person who gets the picture of life as what it really is.

 

 

Psychopaths of face commentary

Chapter 13

I met some bad people. First the alien insects got to me then the alien reptiles.  The poor Grey’s my lost children.

Has all reason become void? I am simply doing time and trying to be a pleasant person about it. He has got a head full of bad ideas, it happens. He is always doing things and making progress on things. Who is it his mother talks to and enjoys but not him. She is either telling him he’s wrong about something or flat out being as unpleasant as possible. Why is it that way between them? All I can say is that they should not be so unpleasant about things, that is the worst but love has been hard to feel in life. Life is funny. There is got to be some karma, but is it just. Competition for love and sometimes it gets pretty desperate.

Chapter 14

Being an adult and a child is like saying one is both a man and a women. These are contradictory statements and are simply modes of nature. Identifying with these modes and develop the qualities offered by them for certain benefits. For example it is the idea of work and play it would be the mode of and adult to perform the task of work,  and play  would be more suited for a child utilizing their imagination to find entertainment with their surroundings. The benefit of an adult must be sex naturally as that is the next interest of development from childhood to an adult. Also removing oneself from the control of family ties to find and choose people of which to work and play is the quality offered to an adult. Being an adult doesn’t have to suck and the idea of a cosmic solution being obtained by the concept of an inner child that has benign connection to the mind of your being only stunts the growth of an productive work life. Simply reacting to past experiences does draw a connection to what qualities and emerging aptitude towards life you all ready have to a certain extant. The blends of concepts in development are not made to be confusing. Children are innocent light beings and a gift to families. It would follow that an adult would be a darker one un-innocent and a burden to the family for the adult has the ability to have sex to create a baby where in lies the problem that the meaning of life can be lost by not having brought in more light into the world that will ultimately bring burden to the family by the mere fact that its nature is to change to dark. The idea of the higher self and the base self is not without a blend of elements of both child and adult. One may simply hate the fact of the need of an adult to be “dark” to survive and mourn the death of the light innocence of youth. He now has reached to artistic and humanistic out look that darkness is the predominate truth. He has no ill will that others simply understand his darkness for there are moments when the taste of pure dread have lingered in his psyche. Pure dread that there were no guarantees that simply being a good person was going to provide a life for him. Absolute aloneness can be a sense of wonder or also a source of debilitating pain.

Chapter 17

Beware of the trappings of the fantasy industry. It’s not real and it’s not good art. Good art is real for that is the only way to really help if it is connected to some truth. This topic of truth being in its self the means to help others and should be represented in a way as to do this.   Unfortunately fantasy is a business like all things and it need not be the only side of the arts. A portrayal of life in a way suppose to help adults has been grotesquely miss presented as commonly seen on TV shows. The picture of reality is skewed to fit an agenda that is what you see is believable when most of it is simply dead air of advertisement, marketing, and fantasy. A barbarous truth is what art is allowed to say unapologetically. You see someone who has no friends I see someone who is committed to reclusive work. The launching of projects the idea must have been so important to pay for its creation and what is taken for granted so easily. Who aims to please the artist? Today’s art scene is in complete control by professional sanctioned ones who are given the acknowledgement that they shall have the production value and the promotion to be accepted as human beings. One is not going to rub two pencils together alone in a room and have a chance at art survival. Art has become the hidden branch of the government. How long can one toil with a brush or a guitar before it has never lead another one to his nest of desperation in seeking recognition that the person is a human being. All us artists have become whores who are really needy for people to back them up in what they are inclined to do. The ones that cherish the whole thing are the ones who are unaware of the bottom as I presume all successful artists. Till then the whole thing is a self-exercise to prove that one is a human being how un-profound. What is a man besides a dick and ball sack?

I read most of psychopaths of face and think it is finished because the only thing I can say about my life at my mom’s house is what I wrote so it doesn’t get redundant. I think I could write some anecdotal in the chapters that some how relate to important memories I should remember if they help understand the character other than traumatized, low self esteem, mistreated, lonely, but I busted my ass and that was the majority of my story. Basketball, wine, noise, target, jail, and fantasy. A big part 2 of really trying to be an adult will be the way the story will need to go.