Year: 2021

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Psychopaths of Face_pt.2

Psychopaths of Face_pt2

I wish I never met her a person of interest that is in the midst of the retardation of the popular culture of our day. Chess was the only game she cared to play. She liked all the characters, and demands respect above all things. The rule of the house was to never be honest of your true intentions, but rather see to it by more deceitful more wicked ways. It started with AOL online and just got worse over time the kind of passing notes with girls wont and want to be someone’s girlfriend in hand writing. So he thinks there’s more then a caveat and suggestions to life then just dieing. He feels apprehensive and reticent about it. “There’s more to life then living. The cycles this is important to a psycho,” he says. He was in that room that God dam room in what he thought was a basement where he was told time goes fast here. “I believe you,” then I’ll fucking banish you, strike left on the triangle the sands of time. “I tried to blow it up,” did I tell them that in a lapse in memory. Count Abyss’s turban thrown against the wall along with pok`e balls like Ash Ketchum. “Get me a sandwich now,” he says before the face of the devil becomes full of pitted acne scars, “Don’t,” said the devil, but I did. “We’re getting there,” he says as they all attempted to hold him up against the wall. In this world of business there really are only three kinds of people for the obvious and the shooting star. I’m to good for you woman. “I need slaves,” he says to a psychologist in a frank matter of fact way. What kinds of ridiculous measurements. The Saint anger in him that he could set people free from hell for them to pass between stations to work for me, the gods are cruel and mixed with tears. Who sets the volume at the concert? It’s the baggage to choose to remember or forget. As it is the most violent tendencies to be God there is no opposition that can be accepted. Put the devil in it’s room. Look at her as her face flushing warning of being exposed. My disciple for nothing at all to offer. They swore they were in perfect harmony although they were to high to know it.

The summer heat and the three month cycle what was most yurned for. The haunting piano on the TV to the days of our lives soap opera. “Another day another dollar, but in our case no dollar,” he’d says as they filed out of the school bus in front of the middle school. On the way back “what’s on the menu today?,” he says in the hopes he would get his friend to comply in sharing his dorrittos. Well he made it to summer break that seemed to be the only goal. Memories twists and distorts or maybe implanted memories to recall a snake that lived under the front step and a raft off the banks of the river at the end of the road. Also he was a person of interest that being hard for a kid, the cosmic. Why the guise I like you not or do I? So, the retelling of the night and the monsters that lurked between the houses. The nightmare in the hall that whole week and terror sweating the time. “I’m the one choose me Lord, God I’m the one,” and I fucking hate you and cursed against you as a young boy then that dimension was opened. Then and there the vomit held in to puke to feel better, but scared and why the fuck did he sleep in the chair with God and peeled the Elmer’s off his fingers and leeches from his feet. He was stumbling to find a reason, which of course he had none. The white soft voice “be calm, please don’t,” but of course he didn’t listen and took matters into his own hands those hands that can be called fists. Train station and angry air, he wished to get answers as a herald of the times vassel of God a vistage in time, and so out the window over the fence and along the way a cup a clue a black bag a cactus dance the call to the master the DL on the coffee the offer. The scweel of scorching tires and the run away and the train and I’ll fucking sing the song myself. Riparian the sand hill the embassy the leaf.  The memory in the haze of a poorly lit room from a chandelier and the smell of food nausea for tortillas as feeling the future of later adulthood as he walks around the rooms of the house.  This in being different times and places with the focus of when a decision was made at a point life was not the same novelty or worth experiencing.

There a couple of bozos were there I think it was three of them doing wip-its an arisal drug behind a factory on the industrial business bulivard slipping in and out of consciousness or conscious awareness for a twenty second fade in and out a good way to kill brain cells with friends after a night at a strip club and a sex store. “I like your shirt,” they told him. “confidence.” Perhaps you consider romance books, or a cat. So there were all of those angels pissing in urinals in a row as a strange sight at the edge of town away from the city. He doesn’t like the antics though speaks to some and surely there is more… Lucifer all you do is speak in sin, make the poison last–the rule of the dragon the highest form the snake in spiritual form, which of course will happen- Dragon poison the last priest offers water. “How dare you talk to the whole host of heaven,” So they worked in a circle running in circles, the children the soup.  Finally the psychopath I’ve been waiting for, the two nights, the two keys, the arm and the leg, the caracel the stars. Your twin brother the evil one had a smart phone before everyone else an eternal generation of slow learners most of whom got out in the fifties. Holding on to greif the loss of life the worsening in time pleasentries out the window. The truth and white lies who will have his day and prevail. He’s in the water now, the sludge, the slew, and oatmeal. In his fagoty all white suit and the farmers daughter the smell of earwax and work of the worker in his dickie pants with gold toes socks like funyuns onion flavored rings snacks. The difference between lunch, dinner, and supper.

Someone else what’s it about for him? For her? They both were wasted in their own way, the age of metal lunch pales and the escape by aspiring escapist played out to the sun and son in the great escape to the East always to live and West to Die. Bunch of tree houses and football fields everywhere and the excuse not to torture the youth again to the voyeur extreme. No one was following her, they followed him in and out of awareness again. Mindless and mindfulness call each other names like things and stuff and they had stuff and things practice and the practitioner. The parasite and the changing of states, so the paradime has shifted between romance and narcissism, standards and expectations, it takes a village to stomp it out the raising of it and being closed off from it all living on a corpse. The blood thirst and optimism of men chasing the rag embracing the suck and staring at the wall. The progeny of her different laws, different systems, to create. It smells in here like tobacco, what a bowling alley. Four ply paper towel about eight sheets of paper, and what day is it? In that world not ours to those expecting the pleasant society it is not patience, but fun? When you get it you probably won’t want it and you will never want to watch it again, remember? Are you having fun yet everyone? No one knows nothing, right. Not a world of yours or mine and the killing of the imagination decade by decade for each generation. There I was taking a crap in the master bathroom lifting up my shirt as not to get crap on it. I was walking on my bike looking what was in the mail box and he had a pizza slice in his wallet so I set it on top of the dresser in the closet. He was saving it for later. He came out of his room wearing all his shirts he owned, “boy it’s hot in here.” I like it spicy. The heart can hate and the ego can inflate. I killed the dinosaurs and sank the titanic. He had a shit list that included Zeus and Zoastrians as well the three of them were in it Posseidon and Hades. The watchers’ so and what precursors did he have made in to him as in having fun and the only one alien brain no one can be smarter or happier than me and your failure to feel human do to the weather you hold or pass in leaving you. Maybe two years of studies as the captain yells “fuck it I’ll go live!“ Why didn’t God protect me? He is slow to cross the line he is slow to understand and he thinks this is his fault which it is not. Syncronicity beyond and through nature why? It’s color coded and he couldn’t see.

In hell there is a man who does numbers, a man who does shapes each a specialist in there own and when called upon regard each other’s work although this is rare. Yes there are shows some cartoons characters with a bowler hat or a show on about a lense of men from up above. Do you want animation or Christ and he’s the master. Well it’s on the grocery shelf and everywhere not to mention it. Up above it used to be called Heavel like the great up Heavel before the firmament and sky vault of sweet dried wild flowers, but any how what does this mean to the boy and the girl concerning a quandary of water and it’s empass. Dinosaurs his first love the papercut and blood and the taridactle on top of the car. The last time he held hands with her and his first book. Buckets under the cots to collect the piss and his Father drives in with all of the saints in spirit admits of castle Grey skull to clip his nails, but more to push his cuticles into his finger painfully and with a story “we push our cuticles in because we’re white.” The leader there also taught him, but mainly she liked to observe him and talk with him. She had dried spittle on the corners of her mouth and she witnessed him spreading kraft cheese layered between the two crackers and on top with a red plastic stick in amazement “magnificent.”

As he slowly became cosmic he had been mezmerized by a VCR in a trance fixed on the machine. There he was traveling from planet to planet as he progressed or in this romanticized regression of the ideal of a golden boy who somehow left naturally in adulthood as leverage of a life and accumulated worth. The poison and dragon sickness, tall tree, long shadow, the crane above, the snake beneath the water surface. At the circus Brothers there was popcorn and do you know what this is? He did not. There but not there.

She was on a quest for power and fame, end of story, but why not keep the story up? Nothing to offer him not even water, but inside she was funny. In seven years she was on top of Mount Rushmore humping the air with a film crew “amazing.” Wanting to be surrounded right where the action was at. She took a lot of advice from her mother as a bases of her self esteem, and money from her father because she was worth the pictures and lifestyle. There were other people responsible for this of course who got to her young on the internet program MySpace and Facebook were she made herself into a video game to collect the coin. Why she was better than him she wanted to be friends with all people as long as she could be seen or document how modern she was with the times. The family would love this, except that there is no family anymore as far a human family. Does it have to be so shitty for him the one who crossed his path and what does it matter they can’t see. He is here to teach but he can not be a motivational speaker or something. The crux is in the gratification of one’s self naturally or others not so honestly by its self more by necessity. The path is the path as long as your on it whether straight and narrow or twisted and narly. If you would expect me to tell you how to make money then you are mistaken. The characters are the same, a guy, a girl, and who can think and would could tell. You can’t find the bottom from the damage of a woman who causes everyone an eternal problem of existence. The mind is part of the body, although not the slave to it, but more like a seat of the soul.

Their trying to castrate you literally in all there actions because they can’t keep their shit, of course you may have heard of you can dish it out but not take it as far as these people really believe in that one specific person is a limitless well that can be used however unwise they see fit, very stupid people indeed they are to act this way. We look down not up climbing the rungs of the endless expanse of ropes tied cosmicly by God trying to get  somewhere…

On the topic of moving on it is easy or it may be hard dependent on one’s character. If one speaks on it deals with it or in anyway misses the goal of avoiding bad days, rough patches, or even worse set backs the longer the worse with regards to sucking nature or to aline it with your own. Preying on one’s mental illness as a form of a commodity  to enrich one’self by another’s misery either directly or indirectly. Between a guy and a girl a completely different utilization of this. A quest for sex ”let it go,” “embrace the suck,” he says she says. “There I go and there I was.” Self evident to anyone who believes in a good God that to be able to think is a gift to all although also a decision not be evil and cruel. You go somewhere to get somewhere and get something before you got something…  Competition brings out the worst in people. “You call that searing pain,” he says. On the couch in the safe zone evidently speaking of course. He lived alone mostly watching anime and smoking cigarettes “It’s not that bad guys,” he says to himself. “Let’s Netflix and chill and I have cable and an internet connection it’s pretty fast.” He would use his imagination when he watched the shows such as star trek that included strong and attractive women.  He never was able to find one for himself though, how unfortunate in the ways of love.  Complacent to you all accepting what I don’t like, He thinks. “It’s a dying planet,” the malignant tumor proclaims. Looking to the future of what science fiction writers do such as a master of psychology and what causes almost all things to happen.  All tilt to a world in which they themselves are the authority.  In ransoming the youth upon every other causes the alignment of the few.  Trying to find the center, the pathway to feelings that has nothing to do with practice in this, it’s simply you talking to yourself wanting control over my hands at least in poverty.  Actively trying to write your story unless by someone else decidedly perhaps.

Struggling to find his words he wakes up to the day “You’re one of us you just don’t know it,” the darkness had said last night. The memory of the past still resides on Earth. The eyes blur staring out the window at the trees.  As far as the worst things to happen to tare families apart by far is the TV unequivocally in combination with Satan.  The narcotics of NBC television of all their team assigned to transfer their demons and transform the person into a completely brain washed and programed person has been proven effective.  These people are not your friends the end result of years of bullying by them towards me has had taken my mother from me so that they can feel they have power in a house they don’t live.  How surreal.  The lie: you will be the best at something. Well this best of all, the opportunity to put someone down in a burst of flipping out about anything at all.  Besting all the rush of the truly pathetic.

Am I evil, “yes I am, ” he thinks.  What is that name, what is wrong with you, what threatening consequences.  That’s like saying I can’t drive fifty-five or get all the love in the world essentially unable to abide by laws or limitations.  “I’m just a stupid man cutting down my opposition.”  He was fighting the establishment.  The pack with Satan on a nickel not to have the phone line to me or radio chatter to annoy me. “I dropped the fork.”   “What of your coder?”  well that is smart I suppose. The blood biom and the cyst not to glorify, exsult, then what?  In digestion the process is to eliminate things that are not needed.  Where is the pedigogy of a teaching here, you have to ask.  “I hate life more than living,” his retort.  All the women are controlled, not by humans, this control  struggle has always existed from the beginning.

The power struggle against nature of natural transformation as transpired development that is to say potential impeeded to the problems of conflict favored for desire of the complex fetishism of history and violence should not be reached at the cost of their dimes. This is of course understanding why anyone does anything.  The natural understanding is aided by psychodelics, otherwise it is blind faith by humans and dollar figures above animals and food.  Admist coders and proxies the other side and unseen self love is a sin to these things.  Among those who would accept nay embrace the position of life, death, sexual mechanics, and herd disposition this is only a path of knowing less than joy of ponder, that is until all is known then these things would stop, then what.  Don’t lose your grip, the only thing that is real if then not here there. Aforesaid our dear reader this is known every force makes an echo.  A case of severe infraction on the part of our relationship the dreadnought.  System of models fifty fall men all in a chain to the factory, the mother, the head vampire, so to speak.  The gene bank of Nimrod kept in a temple.  Twelve monkeys with horns, the horned ones, the broken statues, a central fire the return point.  The carnac was the symbol in rune stones in a circle.

“l’d probably be a hermit if I wanted to be a good student,” the insider advised.  The caring between the flower and the fleging man was the best year of the soul. “08 is going to be great.”  The past is over and like a memory sold to the bounded to be forced to listen.  The bird that lied, the shadow like a sticky hand from a gumball machine inside a capsule.  Increasing the environment to start to take notice that among the times those who say “I Am” have seemed to in age look in more on their work between the realm of awesome to mundane.  Bound on a case on the love of another, for all your happiness depends?  Deeply involved in one’s life?  He did a little karate the hidden hand back in elementary school fundamentals including right hand right knee layup.  As the old lady who had her yarn and utensils knitting through the plastic grid.  Rackets and various hand eye reaction on the object relay relay relay.  The dolphin seems to be the weapon to men by evil then what of Hellen of Troy this Hellenistic period and heliocentric sun from after Alexander the Great to the first century wherein the Trojan war the Greeks had won as Hector lost to Achilles, but Hector would be happy knowing his people were to found Rome. Then what, there is no now what the nature of civilization then but to end, “more like when isn’t it.”  A swatch of color.  The architect the erotica and exotic propensity prosterity to build Opus Tertium.  Two vials of what can only be imagined as important to whom it may concern.  Posterity for future prosperity hexagonal in distorting the circle the universe is flawed in which one, there is no inherent meaning, only to hope there is.  A psychic charge like an eruption creating cycles of an allergy to dust, disgust, to suspect psychopathy as chief cause of movement to viewer beware origin to first cause, disgrace.  Hate may be considered the biproduct otherly from this first cause.  The effect and the reaction; the reverse of one’s self, but how others behave to the viewer of one’s self.  The three that took too much of the pie as super criminals exploitation of getting from give me your sick and tired standing statute.  The high ambition of trying to keep time honest spending time or serving it.  Also other forces that factor into getting in our way shall be called temperamental and volatile.  Purvayer of secrets and convayers of information in obstacles and in aiding both.  This fruition of own is the same as no thoughts both good and bad beyond action preceding it knowing manifestations that occur is to be willed and is only known through manifestation what will is.  Own is to have to belong to you that priori is to say self and to hold to one’s self centi etymos above the head aitia your own sin from birth is what you are do to the first cause.  God must be evil by this line of thought although this leads to a greater expanse of the mover of all things beyond views of goodness being that of life or of his concern in deism.  You are someone’s thing to live with no knowledge of why, so therefore the only constant is that you do what you see fit to live. There is no plausible thing else to do. As art forms present through people so does thought forms giving manifestations to the visible world.  The house has it’s motives and directives through the extension of the inhabitants.

Don’t forget the tiger that won the night.  Then the work really begins that this story’s aim was met while the soul is at odds no longer, but the king of Nothing with his art took everything and is in the way. The intellect like an inner child is never too be found.  More apt to interact with low fourth dimensional parasites.  Dependable maybe, reliable not at all.  “Delivery me political power,” he says.  “I can’t just give you money,” to save face as if that was the reply of the devil.  The structure of the illuminati has alien directors if not leading from the top then at least over their operations on Earth.  The idea of nefarious watchers picking and choosing as a government taking and giving. “You are a million light years away from the other one.”  “All made up by wizards, so you can’t live there.”  Anyone’s guess at this point yet guarded against fantasy to a point and degree of course.  You are the Ying and Yang of energy and focus that is seamon emission and reality.  Also the dualistic nature here for him that has yet to be surpassed in ideology formed by his experience that is of course to say the next step in evolution being subsistence a break from consciousness.  The belief to have one man beyond any previous person given the authority to govern the world as called by the prime directive in some sort of quasi profetic prophecy is yet to happen of course extremely radical. Government by Heaven and Divine in aim, but wouldn’t work or could it?

Leveled that hate towards you. “He get’s that.” From the one who is gone, says a community hid behind lives on the periferal towards the fringe of people acting in very disproportionate acts to status that only could be leveling at you the karma of what any poor persons knows about as a preyed upon group in victimization.  The cyber empire took the business of music as it was to a different profession now. The art seems alive by well pampered egotistical handful of factory artists well pressing the limits of exposure who will not step out of the way, but who could blame them. This a lie in front of ill informed consumers opposed to those who feel the heavy death over this time. It’s over for him dragging on in this over whelming circle he stepped in.  Duped over and over it has been in a tactic of loneliness and survival without a purpose on a long path of identity that echos why am I to explain who is human and who is not.  The world keeps closing in to confinement in knowledge of the truth, that is ultimately we are all are in this alone.  If you are like him people will blame you for their short coming and lie to you.  There is enough for the template to make a interactions with the other half of the population by interface observations.  Being held back was the plight to growth being what he thought an individual for him through the past to a normal conception of development to white space, the place of enjoyment in creation and ability to take control over one’s circumstance.  The only real thing that becomes known is to occupy the highest office one way or the other.  This is known of course to a point and degree that the quest for power, words, and cruelty will always present a problem to human society.  Fix on the ficsation anything you remember is profound depending on the level of dreams.  “You’re going to have to interact, you’re going to have to contribute.”  Neptune and Pluto have made contact with him, the rest is up to him as to what next. The house tries to divorce him, like he will fall back on a detatched father a hilarious non option.  Get down or go around hug the ground of stuff and things liberate and deliver self and time.

Dependable not really, reliable not at all.  Starting at the same place the metrics of life would suggest he is in last in most tangible things.  Space troopers and misses among other things it becomes possible to hack the simulation at least in regards to a larger ethos, as to what collective is unknown.  The only goal out of reach a method of extraterrestrial travel making the game very simple and controllable.  Dynasties and monopolies to assimilate while adoring the prison walls with art to ease the imprisonment.  Why disgust is so similar to love in almost all respects it elicits the response to matter and smells like fascination with objects most posed as stimulus more than intangible things, I suppose ownership of something.  Strength is found in absense of these things in holding on to the truth, aloneness is greatness.  Lord of the flies is the example of true behavior when found in a story that groups for humans is for the most part dangerous as polorizing to King or Queen rule being absurd for the common low thinking comfort that solidifies large sections until the monkey learns Shakespeare or at least talks in rhymes.

Solidifying a day, a week then months will follow.  Self strength comes in being honest, dealing head on or vis-a-vis with yourself, not running from the pain that often seems need be hidden.  I believe in consequences for hiding the pain more than the process of correcting the pain to make it not continue on you from not acknowledging it.  Don’t mistake that being a bond in action necessarily by temperamental emotions that may be the situations actions play on a foolish level, the cause is much darker than you are aware and that makes it painful because they just get off on it.  Dismantling the government and social division is driven by these self hating “black crystals” always sucking dick, but not in the conventional sense.

Hate is exhausting and can devour much the same as negativity.  The hope is that having spent enough time in that state the cycles of darkness can expose the bad actors, and they feel the hate they themselves don’t face up to by the unnecessary negative emotions they provoke like breathing, subconsciously.  Again, the action here with the according mood state is to be determined by giving it it’s proper due then moving on.  A wounded dog should not be the role of a human in that returning to a master again and again after being beaten.  This is a sick relationship that begs the idea of a living hell, so let hell take these people who create that on others.  Do not judge others less you be judged comes to mind in retort as what humans should be subject to.  As to mood based decisions that consequently form lasting beliefs draws in question the original criteria or intent that may go beyond rational rationale.  Relinquish rationality if it does not serve you, but then it serves someone else.

How funny he has to believe or the mundane facts tower over him, people just want to be okay that rising window that is missed, next around not known fearing life to be all mental combating a suicidal infection or sword over your head to know that can hardly be commented on just thought of somewhere else they are sorting things out for these people.  To make things worse the truth in spiritual matters, such as comprehended from the indigo Chakra to see in these matters the parasites that cling to a host inducing psychological states and neurological pains can be visualized and indeed comprehended and possibly communicated with.  The function as to what is felt seem to be that of negative in affect that is to say undesirable.

Look for those who get empowered by evil and cruelty they are not normal people. This rush elicited is a feeling that can be felt by hurting someone close to you such as a family member and asserting a higher position on the totem pole.  With the ability to accept unseen burdens as existing, to know little as to the metaphysical, this causes the knower of little to pursue activities that have uses in this pursuit to know more.  The system that has not yielded contentment to this person, then one may find other means to fix the problems of the living in accord with one’s self.  The intermiedary is the unseen that has little to do with good traditional aims as the intermediary most likely can not be trusted in things beyond it’s own plans.  This knowing little has made trouble as how to approach the unseen.  This problem presents itself side by side in the living world as self destructive forms of behavior like comorbidities.  What do you think they do all day, sometimes go to the grocery store.  Money does not solve everything, and he is not likely to be in a situation as having all he needs to do what he wants.  The psychological problems for him is addressed rather then protecting his interests as the style of his is living cheap then ask again how would you want to spend your day.  What strategies to employ in the uniformal passing of time, but the eye toward things to gain ownership of.  What is happiness really then, is it derived or contrived?  Only an measure of the absence of pain would be the others position who holds happiness.  How by the measure did the balance become so uneven with this we can be sure.  This taking care of one’s self has been hindered then by those close enough to impact him without blaming but addressing that.  He believed he got ahead of time turning the wheel himself built up to a frenzy fury yelling at birds and weather.  He really believed that they were intertwined with his mood and messengers. Of course he crashed and burned. Saturn could not allow himself to be behind in his schema.  The plot and trap were laid on a Friday evening in June.  To be on top of the world that is go out for drinks with a friend downtown.  Letting the devil have his way the condition of the episode was set.  Survival got himself home fine like always, but no he had to go out again to save his friend from the hospital he was being committed.  “Well alot of people got in my way.”  The briefest explaination is his warrior traits manifesting.  Back home again to wait for the cops the next day.  I hate life more then living the vampire stock for life the over played phenomenon of us to it, that is separating life from the lot of the living we find us.  This teacher and also time and death along side that we will want to be excused of as basic facts of reality.  Messing with time then reality becomes absurd as far as rules and windows in time being what they are in development.  A coalition of players impose the facts of reality: Life, Death, Time, and where are you then that’s what you are is established that makes sense and is no surprise.  Who cares?  I can see you should the eyes behind you upon your waking hours working and going behind the eyes as they say here not here fundamental escapism.  Religon the way of living is our right.  Philosophy talking about our choice in how we live in conscious awareness of being e.g. ontology to the style of living with accordance of thought.  Both offer statutes and guidance in this endeavor of living.  Again separating life from the living is important in this awareness.  Life may be seen as the teacher ruling over your own physical life on planet Earth. Life to living, work to learning.  The belief similarly in astrology given to a person at birth a preordained personality. The ordainence in life, as much of is, as an even more impactful consequence.  “He who gives more is truly blessed,” the ordinance of work in serving the higher Arts giving away one’s own health this deleterious and insidious task.  Was it set in pernicious atonemen thereby paying for good years from bad years?  Heavy mood agitation and rambling he in his excitement and anticipation of spirit would launch into a series of explatives as a presenter, that refrain being loosely maintained from that to moderating the antics and gimics.  Typically the refrain is “fuck you, that’s why” and “fuck you, it’s your fault.”  “I wouldn’t want to live someone else’s nightmare although that is probably what is happening,” he thinks.  The two rooms in his space become one where nothing happens and the other too much is going on.  The amount of stimulus is always being dialed back and forth.  The getting of one’s sea legs with mental illness is a case of awareness and the progression or “graduating” from one mental illness to another such as first being shy then depressed, bipolar, dread and despair, schizoaffective, then psycothapy, and ofcourse a practitioner of magic. The last being the understanding of superstition and the resulting psychology.  The “one that doesn’t get it” and the path that entails brings a search and longing to find others to relate too.  This is like saying something is wrong with you even if it’s not apparent to being a more self fulfilling prophecy.  One who has a precious view of others possessions has a state of wanting seemingly for what is normal.  Too much time alone to put it plain and simple.  This per say may seem innocuous although as amount increasing inundates the person to being in the mind not the body.  Social interactons changed as well as the person himself being less and less.  “Rock is dead,” “comedy is dead” this being addressed in their respected industries.  Synthesizing this, that trapped in these parameters the outcome fosters disorder states of health or well being in organizing or rationalizing one’s self with the world.  The confinements or restrictions being held psychologicaly and physically.  The new dimensions of experience is molded or assisted by the powers that be and that being said is withheld to those who have the ability to attain this most likely by means of fortune alongside connections to people who support the efforts in this. This being not the case outwardly for those “one’s who don’t get it.”  The crucible the ring of truth is given to the “one who doesn’t get it” by the fires and frictions of hardships.  This great leaders know.  Now he takes “care of number one,” looking out for himself more than entertaining others , this is like a reckoning for him and a darker philosophy.  “I respect those who respect themselves,” he thinks.  The gimmicks and antics get more cold and matter of fact loud or cussing his situation.  To continue with this line of thought is the split to the use of language to do the work explaining it and working on people helping them out with the twists and turns, pushing pulling, and tearing of being affected by injury of pride and vanity and the ego holding it’s belief of it’s self as the “character” that holds it. Life, Growth, Death folds in Time as the player operates on these characters.  Dangerous ideaology is placed on most these levels the ego goes through.  Active and passive forces; passive, leaves room for evil in discerning inaction with permissive conduct of regents of knowledge and standing.

The friends may excuse my personal bs, that it’s like saying we made a night of it or put on some coffee.  If they were to come down on him he would be waiting bare foot.  He spent some time in a dinghy garage taking phone calls leaving messages being on a conference call even selling chocolate with the things that did not belong in the house.  He said, to him “I’ll call the sheriff,” let that sink in on a call to put threats back then to where it was going as to the manner of relations of what Lengths their bs takes to someone on lesser ground in what seems then like a form of combat to some switch/es in the minds that are blocked off to others and only controlled by the ability in refusing to believe things that are harmful psychologically. Explaining now what we already know seems futile as there is no real reason too, unless now the only cards to play is telling one’s own truth that the coluor can leave the lives of people when the well runs dry leaving them empty.  Not exactly wanting to know what you do in the bathroom or what I was thinking, what do you want if you don’t know I swear to God that she does, and I lost my mind not to have a wife as biology has not served him well.  There are things put in places by no fault, all things beyond not losing freedom of speech, the last and only thing in this life is the living word.  Have to make jokes in this endeavor as a process not wasting time in bullshit as rewards incentive as part lecture and caveat and ideas that have no place for it hum silence rebuke shake temper control twenty eight houses of the moon in a dark circle to control it to be human in the sense of the word no deed to be a person in all respects of the word find addiction medication feed means to be without You. Do me a favor unfollow me or be an adult have fun!  Assualts on me have added up and I just try my best in defense of these attacks.  More trauma and terror in the brain being buried by focusing on any projects very slow as the will to do anything shrinks edging closer to despair again and dread of waking bad dreams. It’s not a life worth living always captive by situation more time more time unhappy unable to find that thing. A three-hundred dollar car that needs work a new driver’s license.  Dam the time spent here the longer the worse I think we all know that.  People are all insane I see without finding a connection to life or recconnecting to it we all are lost empty and lifeless forms of annoying children of the Earth to spread unease and terror by now understanding who you can take down driving others mad is their game.  What soulless murdering creatures.

Did I get over my skies or over my head, of course not as being in the right mind half the time explaining myself or about me to others. Are they stupid, no they just don’t care or respect you well we all get what we deserve I guess.  Sleep is a reward of work putting up with activity that is set to bodies rumbling all over and around. You pay even in prison for some sorts of amenities to that end and sort of things that bring us closer to being human to have to wear earplugs.  He being a king of nothing fights for simple things that he would explain that being normal.  The explaining it is you going in and out of one’s own nature to explain a moment or endeavor.  Mental illness is people refusing to be adults for themselves so they make real adults mentally ill by the need to disassociate.  I guess retarded kids with ape level brains for parents.  Quit the night and seek the day has been his energy being directed as he when possible sleeping early into the night and waking early in the day. The conditions have been set in this way also, to find what work to do with precious little amount of energy and focus to make progress, and maintain sanity the shaping more productivity in aims; and positioning for some advantage that would improve the life he has, that being closely related to making money as there is something to that where this should come as no surprise.  What it is about for some or what may be found for many in biology is the levels being targeted for the release, or what social categories, may or may not to be claimed in his life, this goal similar to achieve, and byproduct of peace in your house or wherever.  The restraint behind the eyes is stashed in the can repressing the man by connecting to life, not connecting to the self and how we really feel in managing time always something to do, not that you want to, or maybe thinking of anything worth thinking about. An exercise or rediscovery of being human from each time around, and surpressed from sex laughing at the time gone by past his prime.  The path of his craft brings it’s assurances that the affect of the arts and the affairs of the artist distract and prolong a sort of perpetual purgatory that just means a person is human in proving that in a way to earn that determination by ways broader than linguistics or languages both visual and auditory traditionally in products consumed by the few to acknowledge that package not suitable in mass, not spelling it out to a Marshall law of the internet in control of the algorithum. That being monetized to a few with less human qualities and destruction of human qualities.  It’s all very controlled by now for years who have set up online monopolies to serve what cyber empire is unclear as to what.

She new what they did, not what he did to himself as to him being a run of the mill trick.  Yet a trick was the term of this endeavor that being said protection in interaction seems the non brooch thing here.  Gentlemen of the basic understanding has less worries of men, but more of the society or worse the culture.  Heart of darkness, intellect of perception, self reflection, this process is left to reason to proficiency to progression in methodical output to product lessening the need for joy to reach joy.  The hope in humanity and it’s failing biology doesn’t it leave some behind in the development game of instincts leaving behind natural stimulus leaving behind the joy of life etcetera.  Here, there, not here, there, how is it on your end?  A person is not held to the standard of all other people, that is to say “fuck em,” though the game of chess is played to win.  Eveyone does in someway try to make money or concern themselves more with biology; hedonism in whatever forms.  Joyless for joy of functioning as to living, learning, life, and work.  The game is to reach those who have more understanding then yourself to aid by alliances into better things; healthier, happier, smarter then just trying hard and self talk of “doing well” whether that’s true or not.  Occam’s-razor that the most simple explanation is the correct one.  This to the wandering intellect and inner centered person has seemed lost upon, in what makes a person happy or as to what to do or why anyone  does anything.  The only thing they can do is try to communicate themselves to others falling short of validating responses and disappointment.  This place is believed to be in if it serves you seems ego centric to focusing all matters of functioning and self esteem in what you do.  Without an ego you would not be human, you would be disembodied or disassociated from the sense of self.  This character that is the self is being negotiated with the ego and the ego is placed in negotiations between the mind and soul known as the psyche.  Self contains character ego and psyche of the human psychology and cognitive mental faculties.  Sentient and aiming ambition and drive to feel better than being in pain and question the nature of being and placement of the self in a larger world in relation to others. Processing, interpreting, or reacting the sober mind is very aware of being in it’s self, whereas the preturbed mind finds moments to escape the self in creating that being the arts as well as any other areas of creativity.  Being distraught in mind is more akin to exhibiting stress and expressing trauma.  The vampire of activities of submissive passiveness, that is energy lethargy a game with no opponent.  How do you play to win, by what measure?  “I’m squeezing an orange,” the honest appraisal of days being too long, and biology of loneliness awareness in psychology being a outcast that a champion of spirit leaving no other choice. “Another year on the books.”  Counting this by times around the sun.  “That puppy love is over with life,” as a chapter in a book seeks a sort of ending to a day’s event to pick up the next’s continually until the writer calls it some what sporadicly at a spot in the events covering the progression until conflict becomes closure or someone dies and is reborn still being true to the school of life.

A person walking back and forth in a bedroom several times each day. People running up and down stairs each day. A baby screaming a dog barking.  A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow, but not submitting to not putting off tomorrow what can be done today.  The need for the mind to rest with nothing known to happen that can change without long time of slow turning of wheels checking off lists, and putting up with peoples bullshit if not the the mental illness.  The men who fought in wars then have Post Traumatic Stress Disordes and would experience Panic attacks as what has been known more commonly acknowledged as being the continued experience after the military service.  Everyone knows someone who has died proving death has reached close to their life taking people away while you continue doing things that children do and have little to say as being an adult.  That being said people have no respect for an adult because so few have an idea of what that’s supposed to be like.  This endeavor to adult conversation is the places found inbetween the leaving of other people.   Seperating yourself from others by what fate can’t truly be known leaves a planning for time to be with yourself later.  The place things happen as opposed to a place one waits to leave. Actively opposing fate to make life for oneself as opposed to life happening to you by others and imposing rules that seem to be confining to the point of producing struggles toward living in a way that is absurd to a greater extent egregious to the free thinker.

As you know this is about living in apartments, hospitals, and jail. People are crazy in those places and in those units it is not a peaceful experience for the sensitive to stuff kind of person. By God it’s by poverty and fates design to have bad experiences, setbacks, and bad stretches of years. Until fate has taught you as it has me this seems to be unavoidable as simply bound to happen. God as an idea must be evil. This is also the point of this author of pain and writer of fate. She will try to talk to you through the  hall wall ceiling or balcony as hell has fury not quite up to snuff with the ones you can find living in such places.  Much of this is explaining time and the mind not only individually but also as human beings.  This one point of view has been met the trappings associated with a very limited experience.  The small hope is to appraise and assess the intellect to aid the soul in so much as writing may.  The man he is now may be rotting from the inside. He can feel the push and pull of assessing the situation, but very little in accepting it.  Everything thing is measured for self worth in work and play.  The mixing and confusing these two things has negetive effects in understanding how life works.  “I am alive so I gues I’ll deal with it,” his mantra perhaps or the less practical “lucid dream spiral deep spiral sleep lucid dream…”  The thinking is like running a computer that brings ideas to the mind, while suggestions come from any number of things much like an impulse.  Knowing increases the little to do with the time. Work sleep repeat is the person making a living.  The human being aspect is more towards enjoyment and finding fulfillment side by side alone and by others acknowledgement of works to facilitate that. This would be how self-esteem is derived or contrived.  This dichotomy not integrated well brings hard shifts that grow continuously bigger in separation in Lengths of time.  Content creators not to be confused with entertainers as the later could be used in a wide range from any conception, and is enslaving the human race as it is pushed at greater extents more and more.  A show about life, rather than living life. A very one sided acquisition.  Being proud of getting to the point that is of character trait against preferance of the individual like your whole entire life and her abnormally small vagina.  Really doesn’t even really want too in avoidance of pain tells lies in this being used against anyone who need to know that it isn’t a sneer to tell a story, but truth and lies about having sex and performing fellathio at the tender age of young men and women eighteen nineteen years old. For years my Mom was defending a person in the house that didn’t even live there or ever met.  When he thinks of Jesus he realized that was another person that who could defend having never have met him.  Without having a spin on living in the world, that is managing the truth by trying to screen out the facts of that being human is not for everyone.  The thought “I never asked to be born” comes to mind, not that was ever a serious argument.  Knowing what not to do seems even more important then what to do.  For this is the time of fear of others imposing behavior towards enforcing a system of servitude.  The amount of truth in anything seems outweighed to things that serve the system.  How then is this fixed?  He does not presume to know as he looks to either talk and respond, and has less to ask of others, more of a need to prove life is more good then bad while being honest.  Much more may be for him as if demons get sway only wanting to bring out the worst in people and in him, but the people are the ones who carry out the unpleasant things as they in the most part are to blame in the extent that demons are not to be seen clearly as humans are in the connectin to any act of strife towards one another.  On the scales is the pound of flesh that is demanded by the system which is made up of people of course serving it. That is the system demanding servitude to it much in work and less in reclusion or freedom in recreation.  This brings the Leisure time being discouraged more in the system and challenges the natural order of things toward competion.  He finds the rule of polarity shows itself such as fantasy and reality.  A needy whore and those who crave attention that life would be easily controlled in achieving these things where as for him the genuine attraction to build and share affection has never been easy to achieve.  So, in this competition for these things brings these backwards people different ideas as to what is important.  Someone who now doesn’t know what true affection is, is then forced into a moment of realization, to tell the truth, that of all of Shakespeare stories amount to is only a leather jacket that an uncreative unathentic person wears to get laid that really has nothing to offer, just picking upart the scraps of souls of artists much like a vulcher feeds on a dead carcus.  While the last practical need of any person is the need for a house to live in that is why men work and why women get married may be an extrapolated point to life of common folk.  The reader may extrapolate at this point as well that not bringing another life into this world is the only conclusion.  He most certainly knows this as he thinks, “unless you have enough money or the right connections the kids would just end up being miserable schmuks who have to work to live, paying for their existance.”  The system has continually ran this way i.e. randsoming the youth. Most of what an average life amounts to is paying for a house and your own funeral.  He thinks, “I don’t know that I would do anything differently,” as to what he could have done knowing himself and fate to have changed anything for a much better life at thirty-four.  It should be for him to take on his own terms as little they may be to cope in that this game of life that can only seem to bring a general feeling of unhappiness that stretches years amounting to stories like ours.  The intellect and talent is also ransacked to entertain others without compensation much to the game being rigged from the higher ups picking and choosing who to back and promote as a packaged product.  God bless those who may find other ways to get success, but at this time does not seem possible.

 

For there is no easy way to describe the lives of two people. One is a man the other is a woman.  Given a guess as to what that one my dear reader may be best accommodated to be would be the other half of this story, at why they would care to read this much like who pays to view porn on the internet?  I suppose then there is the computer and screen, a one time payment mostly then the internet service fee and electric monthly payment.  Other than that there is no transaction agreements for men to view women as sex affection actors.  Welcome to the world of dialectis.  What good are the days off from work other than it’s a day you don’t have to go to work.  Working most of the time in Living and in Art Philosophy and Music, not being paid to then in work that is laborist or tedious to manage a credit card.  The universe makes him less than an individual and more a part of it’s possession, someone’s thing it holds like property.  That being said being subject to that not except from that.  In thinking the writer views the grid of space of a cube surrounding the the electro magnetic poles of the sphere of the planet.  How the interactions of mind and soul play in a life not to mention religion or philosophy as less important.  Unless in suspended animation and of dimensions of invisible matter that traverse the system is there hope the show of life can transpose the trappings of the material and corruption of a passive God.  A writer and a show seems to be the reality here, although dreams can seem more.  To repeat, fate the wheel against a ambition of man best to write your own story if so pure you had bowed so deep with abstinence or aceitic celibacy of sorts to the tune of twelve Moons of Saturn and Lording over Jesus Christ.  The pass of death and of hell the savior brings your soul to the Father in Heaven.  To prove belief it is necessary to commune together to be able to summon a room in artesian magic by putting pressure on the water and taking power from a sun.  I question scraping my teeth with metal hooks a questionable to my health.  Something of questionable style is of spaces not of clean sanitary environment such as hamburger and cuts of meats attracting Flys surely.  “Does he not know we are in Hell,” said a king, an addict a friend. This as working together in magic as the practitioner hates a mistake in his crazy frightening control of spirits.  He holds his place of his own lifestyle. “Boom Shakalaka,” speaking telepathically he supposes is possible decerning his thoughts and that of others.  Needing to address what he doesn’t like about himself always such as smoking cigarettes and in life.  The will alone or the help by praying to Jesus for help seems to be that of two things to consider.  Time is a figure 8 loop that at the intersection is the eternal now that connects past future to present that being said all time is at this point of now. Folding time was the religion of Dune and from another extrapolation projecting in the future and working backwards from that point to bring that into the present. At least a good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.  So much time could be stolen in the control of drugs or Spice as in the Dune religion.

The outcome of nurture from a percent of life problems belongs to a single parent upbringing in the most part is then of only a mother to have as a parent while the other being a father who never wanted to be a parent, so naturally dropped the role entirely.  The other percent of life problems would be of being poor and not knowing how to be successfull in making a good amount of money.  The point in every bad thing in life problems is the interactions and reactions as partially, a percent of causes never fully attributed to a single whole or one-hundred percent reason of outcome for anything. The factors are always that of more than one in a bad life problems.  This result leads to a person who would not only be a miserable schmuck, but then an unsufferable ass that no one would want to be around. In this is the progression, [if] you do not get to choose this kind of life, then the strength in humanity fails.  The progression from miserable schmuck to an insufferable ass is at this time interceided hopefully by means of help through others, namely financiallly in aim.  One does not need to be offered an ice cream cone while drowning, more of a hand in such as a life preservor and means to find land.  A clear eye for the situation and of sobering thoughts leads the way forward as being naive in that going it alone is some greatness, in truth is that it wears on the spirit as contineously that has been need be recognized for him.  In this the human experience is believed to be lessened.  This position puts forth works of the soul to be devoured by unhelpful others without a care to this it has been or to that this writer is aware.

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Snake_Cosmic [pt.1-3]

Snake_Cosmic

The new unceremonious characters include Snake Cosmic the miner. Don’t ask why he mines, I don’t know, but he does have a space ship. On board the space ship is Geni Snake’s wife, also Mudd the copilot. The two men are talking in the cockpit. “we mine because we don’t fish,” says Snake.

“Best year we ever had,” says Snake. Mudd quietly answers, “that doesn’t mean life is good does it.” “What? Life never gave a shit, it’s is up to us to give a shit about life.” How unfair. Geni was spending time in the ships jacuzzi room watching the planet Earth’s news feed on a monitor attached to the wall. The marriage of Snake and Geni has resulted in no children, by way of things being to hard for to long.

“Computer put a call in for Mayor Frog, Emerald Pond, Central America, United Nations, Earth,” Geni says to the computer as it searches the directory database. A heavy set black man shows up on the monitor. “Well hello Geni, to what do I owe this pleasure.” “I wanted to ask you if the fish population has recovered there.” “Mayor Frog blows some smoke from his Cuban cigar, “Well that depends on who you know if you catch my drift.” “The mining year was good, but Snake wants to fish even though it’s been prohibited ever since we were on Earth. Something about some books he’s been reading about a tax collector and fishermen that were the wise men of old or something.” “Well the waters here are monitored most of the years after the fish population was wiped out.” “I suppose there still are those who would risk going out on the waters with the right connections, legal or otherwise.” Yeah Snake thinks it’s a right of passage to the ancient times and he would gain good fortune if he were to catch a wild fish.” “Well the legal route does not allow fishing for any reason only purchase of fish for breeding fish farms.” “See what you can do, and don’t mention any of this to Snake, I don’t want to crush his dreams.” “OK, I hope your year was real good for this sort of thing.”

Mudd muddles with some scrap electronic equipment trying to use outdated hardware with new syncing crystal each allocated to different moods from his collection of Ruby, Opal, and Jade. It seems ludicrous from both standards. Why can’t you just take the middle road? Moody Mudd slinger who hates life. His journals and attitude along with his preferences all got put into his crystals. His pessimistic philosophy that existentialism is based on saying life is meaningless. The long round of the year mining was wrapped up for the current sector. Mudd and Snake were friends but Snake was content on staring out the window drinking tea.

“You think I’m happy?” “I think you thought you were going to get a house in France, but didn’t. What’s been bugging you?” “Don’t want to be a loser, I want to enjoy my life.” The big ship has plants in it even. The smell is like firmament. Space lizards, space insects. The hidden over lords. What the hell do they want, to stay in the shadows? Back to ancient Earth, they let it go. No friends. Masters of our own destiny. The solar cults. We’re all waiting for something, but we are below help. There’s no accountability. Your playing a video game. A spirit in a video game a world soul crying. The white house lawn is to small to land a space ship there.

“Predisposed influence transfer code without talent.” Snake speaks a voice command to the on board navigation computer. The computer tries to find a sector. “Couda Draconis the tail of the Dragon. “ “ah lizard space, not good! They never were big into sharing those crapy rocks they mine out there, the pale one may negotiate a in for outsiders. “ Over stimulation has brought this to bare. Hyper competitive leans one way or the other. The five smartest people I know milk the magic cow tell what, no more milk and cheese.

Geni has charm and is the only the one on the ship who knows what that is. The machiavellian Sea of space and the son of a bitch draconians and for fuck sake indignant social animal who can learn to be praised to Nun the God dam primordial water. The sea of space. “Wow dark,“ Snake says to Geni. “This occasion was wine before the next sector. Satellite orbits of the of mode of nature nodes of elder moons. “Pick twelve Moons of saturn and try to cash them in,” says Geni. “I told you the Earth sector was let go! from the days of the savior of the E-lias the prophet of Rabi’s long gone.” “So um don’t be mad or anything but I think we might try to get to go fish. “ “Fish the bed rock of the Archons, God dam space fish in the oceans, suicidal dark children, we eat them we extinct them then they go back to the nebula and those God mysterious black holes and black matter. Now we now what has happened to fishing. In space or oceans! Need me to spell it up out for you!

The under side, the belly of the beast physical here is gone black as Pitt not standing on ceremony a cemetery. Those dead eyes see no future. Coffins in space, in the ground. “You fool!, beware of the fire.” Mudd is listening to Mr Cosmic universe rant. “Sewer snakes, they are obstructionist that’s it. I’m sorry. No nun no allegiances, nun! they come from the fucking ground.” “I have no safe space,” says Mudd “To fucking end all life of your fault you hate your father, that’s what is wrong right!.” “My dad was a quite voice trying to keep me safe from the snakes Mudd don’t tell me he didn’t try! They tried to run!, then John picked him up, sweet. Jesus has gambling debt, but everyone owes him money.”

The wet land is unreceived from the belly West from East
Then the plants were right some of them were not. The way that and the quarters were I thought odd. Odd is the triangle. The I tried with to ends of means. To the over supplies town down find and cease. The Texas radio and the big beat slow Virginia swamp. Ancient let go which ran then got caught by the shows and sorting out of things. “I thought to not go to swamp, and though the trees.” “What do think for it was wrong from the beginning then what then maybe not quite a certain.

The north turtle of the earth roads. It is safe and warm. “Nothing to say and he’s an idiot, so what” Cosmic says to Geni. “Regards to negotiations?” “Sounds like a no”, “sounds good.“
Mudd had said a lot to Geni about his transfering of the ships computer to a more organic operating system by way of crystals magnifying the ships plants frequency. Mudd had an interest in the seemingly impossible tasks, changing the mind set. “Not much here is there,” said Snake. The current sector is Zeta Reticuli. The game is asteroids of exotic matter. Three Grey’s appear on the monitors open channel. One of them has a red tie and makes a hand gesture of a upside down v. “Yes,” Snake says. The computer begins to speak, “train station.” “Look we’re here on business.” The screen goes blank.

“Christ!, don’t tell me those bastards are gonna ticket us, there just lizard lackeys unless you deal with the old mantis coders,” said snake. The ship gets pulled suddenly in a tracker beam toward a black hole and gravity sucks the ship closer. “It’s all over, we’ll never know why, a plant from the garden speaks through the ship com, “fly locked books, jump ship it’s over.” The pod detaches, jettisons the crew to escape. “Well played Grey’s,” said Snake. “They may have opened the black hole knowing we would jump ship. They won this round. The Grey’s were using the one of our plants in the garden somehow.”
The pod touches down on Daedalus

COROT-7c, it’s like Earth. “Well here we are, broke again and stranded,” said Snake. The pod is broadcasting back to Barren space for assistance. The nearest space station responds and is months away. “Looks like we’re here for awhile. Load up everyone were going for a walk.” After four hours they the sun sets and a tribe of tall skinny figures brightly feathered dance around a fire. They approach the tribe.
Snake approaches first with a raised hand. “Greetings, we come in peace.” The ferver of the thin men is at a high, they continue with their dancing. “Look were trying to to find supplies we’re stranded.” The chant loudens “who who who!” Geni notices the blood on the ground they are dancing around and the chief declares, “this is my universe!” Geni whispers to Snake, “They worship the blood God, and their burning animals they sacrifice.” “OK friends oocka boocka or what ever.” The chief responds angerly, “I observe the edge of the universe no one goes beyond! You stay here and I say when you leave.” “better do what he says,” says Geni. Mudd takes out a flask and tips it back, “well good.”

The buzzing of night was loud. Nature’s white noise, perhaps this planet’s cicada song. They were able to get food and drink for their hunger and thirst. There were several cots under a straw roof hoisted by nets tied from tree to tree somehow primative and interesting. It was obvious there were other beings that were responsible for the guests warm reception. Hidden limbs and hive mind was clearly in play here, some mother of all and ancient. They slept eventually into what is sleep that was never a guarantee.
The mire of geni’s affection to the people had made the night what it was. Snake found waiting on Barren space rescue seems like it will never come. The tribe didn’t give a shit about our feeling as bad as the mind to think of life. Thank God it’s all a contest to be won living not learning, stop learning start living if only, but we could fish for the next half of the long wait. Lots of death thinking how the women all pray to corpses and the fire. So things were ok for them. It’s like this place was meant for Mudd. He cot the biggest fish and the men ate it. No women to be had here but geni, and it seems she knows more about this place then she let’s on.

Mudd is exactly right yes, still savoring gallantly. The mustard was made in part by plants or seeds locally. The eventual conclusion is that they were rescued by a quandary. Then green and blue were the colors. The ship was of station eleven the crew of three. The divine wonder was met on ground. The extraction is like any mission. To long to hard. “You might say, sweat smells there not here.”

“How’s the food, its good need more salt.” Cosmic was in the mess hall. “I’ve never been those fake holes got us.” That was nexus the screen read out: kill you mate Com board eight level. “Follow the curruption, I hope no one has Diarra.” “There funny Mr…”it’s just yes. Genius is the more inclined to Aquarian that measure fish and corn husker lot’s of carp boxed. The is Com is currupt life ominous much omen very small room.
The comedian on the far side, yes. Logic end hieght rotten from a mind vegetarian creation too. The last priest of the world just fallen, female black horse, right. Picture every ain’t salt. That is just your pride.

Space station 47 time to pull some favors to get another ship. Snake had some good connections to get the financing. “Look to the pirates to sell you some rusty bucket,” says the station’s official. “Better get on the Com, Snake utters. The widows freeze up in the cockpit of Dub’s rust bucket. A message on Dub’s Com blinks, he accepts the call. “freelancer Dub here.” “Yes I’m looking for a ship.” “Well I don’t know why you’d look on pirate Com frequency we do not get along with the barren station business.” “ I am a freelancer of sorts too, only I have get along with the barren space expansion.” “I’ll tell you what if you do something for me I can get you lined up with a pirate who could get you a ship.” “Shoot.” “I want you to get a friend out of prison at the barren space station your at.

Elsewhere in pirate space Dub prepares and mutters to himself “Snake you must be an idiot.” The station was a hot bed of all sorts of functions including imprisonment for of course some extra cash. Snake had no office with barren space so he was biting off more then he could chew. Ships were as it happens to be very hard to come by as it were. In the cells there dwelled prisoner 1138, reptile and very smelly, the target. 1138 happened to be pale a very high honor within his species. Snake goes to the financing office to grab a line of credit and says, “By the way I had heard that there is some business in prison management you know incarcerations.” “Sure but it’s a do nothing go nowhere line of business, not much to it like your line of work I’m sure,” says the office manager. “I’d like to check it out if you don’t mind.” “Sure.”

The gully of the station a litiny of corridors Snake makes his way to stalock thirteen. The temperature is very cold in the lower levels. The first thing Reptile thought in the waking of his day was to stay warm by elevating his heart rate by breathing and stretching deeply in his cell. The prison guard was leading Snake to to prisoner 1138 by chance. “This the high value scum on this block.” Snake then couldn’t think of what to do now that he has narrowed in on his target but to get rid of her. The guard walking slowly in front of Snake and Mudd, and Snake moves closer and says, “can I ask you something about this over here.” The two move close and snake points to a panel on the wall then as she leans in and snake snaps quickly and puts the guard in a choke hold and brings hers to the ground. She loses consciousness and goes limp. “We must move quickly,” Snake says to Mudd. “Get her keys!” Mudd grabs the keys of the guard. “Showtime.” They make there way way to the vestibule to cell 1138 face with Lizard.

Vis-a-Vis. Snake is oozing sweat and breaks the ice to the ten foot tall prisoner. “Hello, you understand me don’t you, Lizard screeches and snarls nasally and nods. ” Pack your bags asshole were getting out of here. Snake brandishes keys. ” Dub sent me. We must move quickly if we are to survive this.” Snake in terror opens the cell and immediately there is a issue, Murphy’s Law! The cell opening triggers an alarm and Reptile blows through Snake and Mudd knocking them on their ass. They chase after him. Snake gets Dub on the Com,”Get your ass here double time! North corridor hatch.” The follow the bodies on the floor to the North corridor were a ship appears through the window viewing bulk heads all along the edge of the station. Lizard makes it in the ship at the docking hatch a hundred meters in front of Snake and Mudd. On the Com Dub says,”You have eight secounds!” They run in full stride to the hatch in the high gear they weren’t sure they had diving in the ship together.
“You made me lose it all risking my ass on a sprint for this monster,” Snake pants as he catches his breath. “Calm down and meet me in the cockpit I got a cold beer for you,” Dub replies on the Com. Dub is human who whares a white mask with a vertical line down the center. “Do you want a clean glass princess?” Dub grabs a bottle of mead and pours it to a massive mason jar and sets it on the dash board. “I’m still mad though,” Snake cocks it back and drips down the corners of his mouth, and smears his arm across his face then sits down and begins to focus.

Mudd says to Snake, “Where’s Geni?” “I thought you said you knew were she was.” “Nope. “Take a anti-depressant like everyone else she probably found a taxi back to Earth she’s safe there.” “Calliope seldom wished upon to be a childless and home sick,” says Snake seemly from nowhere like he didn’t care about the whereabouts of Geni. “Business brought us to do these things and lose so much here. Take me to my ship.”

 

Snake_Cosmic pt.2

Before reading and TV dreams was all there was. The dreams are violent and tempted to rage. You got to have that dog deep inside you to just do what women think of us that is natural, it is not. So inside didn’t care that to what has been lain, the trip wire. The vampire world waiting for me to be something godly for you all to crucify and rob blind. It’s a long game for life to have it’s way, see what happens! I contribute, you got to settle for more. Everyone in their own world plus the sharks. Some always knew they could trust their grota. The thing is the world’s been cut up by territorial humans. Because of my unhappiness I wonder. It takes thousands to prop one up I guess and beat the dead horse. I am human that gets worse with time how unfortunate.

We’re back in space now. Snake worried that he went a stray, but how far. He is now away from Geni, his lover. That’s how the domino’s fall. “Thanks to Dub were all in the fucking shit,“ Snake says. Mudd get’s use to the new rust bucket clunker of a ship that did not have a jacuzzi. The gardening was still good. Mudd had seeds of his favorite plants he acquired from places. The fact that they were probably wanted by the the Barren Federation wore on their conscience. “We mine like we use to do,” said Snake. “To make this right Dub had a boss Mudd, we need to speak his language.”

“We enter the paralyzing dimension, the mind through the third eye, indigo,” Snake says. This space is metaphysical, that Snake and Mudd find themselves in Mudd’s dark crystal as they had been sleeping. One might ask what is there and what’s it like. All the people Snake and Mudd have banished now in a perverse turn of events now can’t wait to meet their caster’s. “Mudd what the fuck your God dam indigo crystal took us into this fucking mess. We are in the business of selling the rarest of the mineral kingdoms material not fucking getting trapped in them!” “Somehow the people we screwed over have called on their crystals to get back at us,” says Mudd. “Well hello, don’t bother to struggle, I can cripple your body here and leave you in eternal agony,” says what must be the federation space station’s disembodied souls that were killed in the prison escape of Lizard, his disregard for human life for those who crossed his path. “You’ll never wake up if you don’t do exactly what I say,” says the amorphous collective disembodied souls entity.

We’re in the fucking dog house. We’ve been here for about three days. Snake starts to sweat and Mudd is steadfast. “Who the fuck are you,” says Snake. “You thought you were working for Dub, yes. When in fact it was just a puppet of real Dub that impetulant ass,” says the amorphous entity. Find him and send him to me.” “OK are we done here,” said Snake. I’m keeping Mudd here until you send Dub to this dimension by ending his life got it? “Sure you’re on.”

“Computer, put mayor Frog on the Com,” Snake says. “Hello Snake.” “This isn’t a social call Frog, I need a favor.” Elsewhere as Mudd slipped into the gap between worlds of mind and matter the amorphous entity is willing to treat with Mudd. “What should I call you, you thing?“ says Mudd. “You can call me Count Abyss.” It then formed into a body and wore a cape and garment. “I know it was you who is the real alchemist not Snake that bone head. Perhaps you can apprietiate the world of minerals and their soul trapping capabilities. Your talent for transferring electronic’s and mood infusion with crystals and plants is only a fraction of your potential if you were to be guided.” “And I suppose that would be you then?“ “Perhaps.”

Geni and Frog grabbed a taxi to the Earth’s local space sector not far from Pluto and the fringe destroyer female shiva’s moon. “I will be at the randevu point soon to meet you shortly Geni, I’m glad you are not arrested because of me,” says Snake. “Yeah Barren Space doesn’t have any jurisdiction here, that’s why I had to lay low, I had a feeling you were going to get us in trouble.” The Earth’s space station’s were shitty, but had enough business to run taxis’. They meet in an air lock and embrace each other. Frog then approaches. “Snake old buddy how you’ve been so good to see you.” “Yeah glad to see you too, we got some work to do.”

“You look good Geni, we got to watch our asses, let me deal with Frog,” says Snake. “Where’s the jacuzzi Snake?” “Sorry this is the best I could do.” “Mudd’s catatonic so that’s why we’re here, we got work to do.” They make there way to deeper space, more dangerous space. “We need to enter pirate space and find Dub, the dark star lord.” Frog say’s “Don’t take your chances with the solar plexus, the dark sun, the intent of illusion. This guy your looking for is a lion waiting to devour us sun people.” “Noted Mayor, when I say we go, we fucking go, GOT it!” “Yeah I got it.”

FORTUNA Major is displayed on the terminal screen. “Yeah this looks good,” Snake says. This sector is available for the movers and shakers as a hub of neutral space commerce made up of several ports and markets in a mess of metal frames and connected air locks. “We can pick up some things from the Grey’s at this hub. I think this Star Lord is one of them, who’s language is inflicting pain to compensate for his non ability to feel himself. Frog your with me, let’s head to the bar while Geni picks up some things.”

At the bar Snake gets a piccher of draft. A grey starts telepathically communicating with Snake. “You know the food here is quite good.” Snake gestures to his forehead. “Say bar keep how about some food, prepare me some fish, raw, and a citrus sauce. ” Snake said. “People come from all over to eat here, great choice broha.” A fat Asian business man bellies up to the bar putting Frog to shame. “Make that double, and some saki!” So everyone was having a good time at this point. Frog says,”send our friend over there a drink.” He points to the grey across the bar. “Your friend, a sun man doesn’t know us Grey’s are into vision drugs, not your baby’s milk.” Snake points to his empty mug. “So, you want the double vision?“ Snake nods.

“OK, take me to your drug lord,” Snake thinks. He taps Frog on the shoulder and puts some money on the counter. “I’ll meet you at the ship later.” The Grey shortly after follows Snake out of the room. Snake walks down a couple corridors taking a few turns into connecting terminal then as the Grey took the next corner Snake appeared holding out his gun. “Don’t fucking think about pulling a weapon unless you want your big brains blow all over the fucking wall!“ Snake pats the Grey’s vest and pulls a gun weapon from an inside holster. “I know my ship was bugged, that you wanted to keep an eye on me. Those men at station 47 were apparently capable of becoming some bad spectors that have caused me and my friend some problems. I know your transmitting so I got a message for you Dub, I’m coming for you.” Snake then blasts the Grey.

“I think we were just board,“ said Frog to Geni at the ship. They put away provisions and wait to hear from Snake. Shortly after Snake opens his Com to Geni,”Yeah I’m moving from unit ten to eleven, start the ship and meet me at Port 3118 now! I got some tails, let’s just say I fucked the pouch on this one.” Snake brought the local security to alarm as he left a dead Grey in a vestibule. He now makes his way to Port 3118 as he carries a black box brain chip from Mr Grey’s Brian. The rust bucket ports at 3118 and they bolt ass.

“CORONA BOREALIOS and CANIS MAJOR were the last constellation sectors our friend was before he tailed us,”Snake says. “So now what,” says Geni. “We go hunting.” Snake moves to the cargo section and asks Frog for some help. “They had us bugged Frog.” “Those bastards!, that sucks,” Frog resonds. Snake clips in to some mining gear cable on his belt then pushes to cargo hatch and a red light and alarm sounds. “Snake what are you doing?” “I knew it was you Frog.” “I can explain, believe me!” Snake shoves Frog backward then the suction of air leaving the hatch sends the fat man against the back wall, as Snake begins to be suspended in the air on his cable. He hits a button on his belt and gets hoisted to the terminal panel and cable reel. Snake watches Frog, jettisoned from the ship floating away, the Mayor of the Emerald City, now Frozen in space. Snake hits the button to close the cargo hatch.

“Where is Frog?“ Geni asks. “He had to go chill out,” Snake answers. “Let’s get this over with Mudd’s starting to smell.” “Let’s go to CANIS MAJOR,” Geni says. Snake enters the coordinates. “We have a short while to prepare, and what I plan and what potentially happens aren’t always exactly similar.” Snake arms himself with some gear: mining explosives, 30-30 Winchester lever-action rifle, and a 22 pistol a very good gun for pounding nails all day. Saturn comes around, Snake softly puts his hand on Geni’s shoulder. “I’m choosing to go it alone Geni. I need you to stay with the ship.” Snake opens the Com to the pirate ship that was surly waiting for them to arrive. “Hello Snake, perhaps we could talk in person,” say’s the Masked Dub. “Gladly, I will be docking shortly.” Snake moves to the air lock with a business trench coat and strapped. The air lock opens and the port way is empty. Snake decides to draw his rifle and stands and looks through his iron sites at each corner of the vestibule. He in some swat move creeps in. As he get’s closer he smells the stench of Dub’s leashed dog, the Lizard to the left. He takes the corner and pumps two rounds from his hip. The shots are spread in the room and he looks to the right side corner and Lizard sprang up on him so as to disarm Snake. He quickly drops his rifle and shows his hands and the brute says, “You packed your bags asshole,” in a snarl. Snake kicks the rifle to him then reaches into his coat and unloads the clip into pale scaley reptilian. The hits were all over the torso and only made the reptilian mad. Snake runs into the room away from Lizard and jumps over a counter. “I got a shit ton of explosives that can blow apart an asteroid of any composition. What do you think it will do to you asshole!“ Snake had nowhere as much powerful explosives as he bluffs. “You die too,” Lizard responds. Snake reloads and primes an hand sized explosive set to blow on a timer to make the situation even worse sets it on top of the counter. Lizard rushes Snake and he got only a couple of shots before he would be ripped apart. He has his gun right in front of his face and with adrenaline he pops off four rounds into the cranium mushrooming and fragmenting into the brains as lizard jumps counter landing on Snake as the sound of four pangs muffled in to a body followed by silence. Snake heaves and military presses the body off him then grabs his rifle. “Five minutes is all I need,” Snake says to himself and starts into a jog. Kicks into a button on a door panel the cockpit doors open guns drawn. “It’s not personal Dub it’s you or Mudd.” “I know the Count used some of your crystals against you.” The Schell of the android opens up in the head and the tiny alien in a chair says. “Well Mudd is very gifted.” “How do you want me to do it?” “Down with the ship, I guess.” The ship is gonna be blow I’ve left explosives throughout the the ship. I guess you should be sprinting again. Yeah, captain my captain. Snake bolts out. With the timer running dangerously low. They detach from the pirate ship. Then the ship blows and its debris becomes a ring of Saturn.

 

Snake_Cosmic pt.3

Back on Earth we find our captain with his dame at Conney Island. Snake walks with adulation along side of Geni admist the carnival tents. “I’m gonna get you the biggest teddy bear no problem,” Snake says to Geni. “I’m on top of the world, baby! Here, look a ball toss at cans!” Snake like an stuburn ox digs into his back right pocket and pulls out his wallet and fingers his one dollar bills looking at the sign that reads: $5 dollars – 3 balls. Snake with a fist full of dollars lays $5 on the counter. A pale man with a black hood and cloak takes the money and places 3 soft balls on the counter. “Hit all 15 cans down and you get your pick of prizes,” says the shadowy man. The cans were stacked on a shelf in a triangle with five cans on the bottom row about 15 feet away. Snake tasting the win feeling all the love he thinks he will get from Geni confidently grabs the first ball and hurls it and knocks down one can on the left edge of the forth row. Seeing that these cans were weighted and locked in place began to feel deflated. “Hey guy that was a heater what the hell?” The man remained silent. In fact Snake wanted it so bad he felt some pain in his rotator cuff. Snake picks up ball number 2 and aims more down and to the right and throws a laser beam of a toss tight in the bottom middle and the ball strikes and bounces off of the can without knocking any over. Geni says, “look Snake it doesn’t matter the cans won’t fall.” “This is sick what the fuck?” Snake takes the last ball looks around with a dazed look and aims off target and throws way right hitting the bracket arm of the shelf and screw pops off on the connecting post and the right side of the shelf falls and the cans slide down in one piece and hit the ground. The man without saying anything hands him the biggest teddy bear to Snake. Snake then hands it to Geni. “Who do you love babe?”

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Little_Wolf [pt.1-2]

We gave him a name, it was wolf. He wanted to smell rotten flesh and fescess. Only when the weather is right. This was the way of the scavenger and the blue Jay. To begin with he was just a boy set on fighting men. Now he is hairy were he once wasn’t before. Yes he was the one who made tracks. A lone wolf, also yes. The meat has lost it’s taste. The Grey hair on his chin was full of DNA of an animal, but this is a man. Carrying those bones around. Dragging his life. Absolute nowhere at all times. That is to say not present. Each evening of the moon is the one thing that rules this life the insane mother. His family has begun to diversify. Sleep the chore to bed down. So it’s been said to be a dog to a good family is a good choice for a born again. Wolf is no pet to a family. H is not a hippie who may like wearing dread locks and master trading ambitions that it’s all. “I don’t want that” says Wolf. The owls have swooped in to the rescue. Lovely creatures. So we established the moon as running the program. Hard to feel so many seconds that feel like hours there. My allies expect me to shop in ways and also take on sin in as a pay as you go program. Boring, plain, & control. Yullotion is part of my talks, neogism for prophetics. Dullness Norway ambition. The morning and early day. The only focus how wolf was estranged from the community and anyone who gets close to him. Wolf is talking deep and down. How deep. Lovingly for Jesus. For the books. Fifteen they said want out because I was sick. Sick how I’ll tell. Your just speak in sin. Yes worthy to know while he dad forgets. How holy she begets more than you. The tight don’t forget, she holds. We didn’t know what we were saying to each other yet they said he was my friend. Ew ish ick is and me all disgusting for how long the last from the loins sacked his power. To the point and to their fucking end. We’re you ever in the woods? Got a call back? I understand that because I got a proper let me down was not an execution or a hanging. The sorts of stuff, look the game is simple get the hunger fed. Follow your own obsession what ever it may be. Love is always saving. Close to the hill. Further up than the swamp. He got pissed for the sake of his mother who gave him a roof. His genuineness is deep in the grass. The notes have been embedded not that the intellect can at all save you. It’s all rigged. Knowledge to know ways of those deep in the grass. The shackled old man in the cells of the body slowly draining. The God that we all knew and loved captured once in prison while Taylor swift performs country songs. Your getting high on your own supply I’m telling you. Fantasy about that stuff. Society is really wrong and you’re an idiot if you watch TV. Need to smell like smoke. This man has shifted at anger and focus though not easy to make in unpleasant circumstances. Fake way to make way. All in all the programing has been lets say heart heavy. How bad? Gin & that’s all I know. They say that wolf had bad blood. Licked his own wound. He was just making a trail. The A team had the money to sniff it out. It was in the cards to carry trinkets. It is that smell of saw dust that seems like it is alive and sweating. The wolf wanted to encourage people to say it’s not so bad, and ice cream cone can be eaten walking the corner. The problem is amongst its own in that it was about a scorpion dance. Yes silver can save you, but you can’t eat it. Gold for what is owed and a performance stolen to a woman in a painting. This is about prey. Dead to feed the living. Living to feed the paper. Most paper is the source of all. Wolf has begun to read as before and he has little songs of gratitude for his scavenges. Little is his patience for loss of the test testing him and putting that energy in him. That is why. “So do, how do you do” wolf says to his TV. This Need be said about wolf. He hated women except for his moon. He has condemned himself to, so the longer the worse. Hating TV for the prime directive; the program His past was more then checkerboard. The fresh and clean living is the best. Or so it is the subtle way. Piss off to his regret as he wets the toilet. Slow as well. Next wolf has to drink his way to the shower. He naturally does not much like showering to the point that it’s sort of hard to do it without that drink, be it beer, gin, wine, or a home brew. They put him in the ground for his desperate cries. The ground being an animal not a man. Take those walks and be glad to see the sun. Let us remember that man is a social animal and that includes wolf. His blonde hair is thick and full. The dead spoken of Roman emperor intent to rebuild. To have a family is seemingly the ploy, a cosmic guise. Wolf thinks more about living and challenging his technology to work for him. The money wolf has to make for dating the thin girl Sirentha who smokes and gets her hair done and is a good person. So she then lets wolf do what he should prove that he is without a clue. He says “do you want to go out? In person she writes him her number. Like I said she let wolf down easy. Lucky he had some wits. Wolf made the most magic money of the family and that means nothing very good. Take the talent away and what do you have? A forest walker. It would be difficult to call wolf a social animal, a typical gregarious man. He was on the outskirts of regular living. The right to mate for the inept animal is zero to none. “Put the fear behind you” the TV says to wolf.

“Lend me you ears” says the TV. “I’ve got no more pay from the dead” says wolf. It’s impossible to be friends with wolf. He has enough energy to get on with life. It’s not sad or shunned in an absolute way down. The smell of spirit shall be the intuitive guide to up of the moon so the Earth learns who makes the tides. Ambivalent towards her warped water. Oxygen is the way of God. He loves it. It is in the air and Ariel was want to be worried over wolf. He says “Don’t condemn your self” in reaction to wolf flipping coins. His careless divination. Unruly. The less the best. Total freedom from love. Empty is the way. “I smell bullshit” the TV says. “My mess and being poor is your problem?” wolf replies. “Lot’s of trash out there. They both hated me. Take a commercial break? Time for me to get with the program.” Homer Simpson owns the TV. The Earth is lying to the cosmic where we’re wondering consciously what for. We’re where you wolf when the white women went afoul. Sugar turns to fat and carbs turn to sugar and carbs come from the germ. The worst is yet to come. Happiness works only on deceit. So it is established reality is imposed by the world of fear. Fortune is chance and fashion in war of the lore. Constant is consistent when walking in meditation. Less is more continuum. Breath, life, are all automated. The best of us is not understood. My crypt key is lost for the bird on the road got hit, a puff of feathers. Let the mind go a hundred steps removed, bad. Dad is bad. “Want to talk so personal. That is gratification. Do you have any idea talking commercial universe that’s all. Put some heat in those loins,” the TV professes. “I hate professional sports, “wolf says. One for all, rock and roll around you. He goes into his room, the cave.

The settlement of life. Slowly moving. Give the challenge. “I accept” say wolf. I dreamt it more than one and we’ll. “he isn’t ready” kiss-kiss. Now just me number 3. This it is don’t you ever give me something free sister! People die to play the part. Does it matter that wolf gave the Jr a game for matter over mind and looked in the mirror of a extended chess game and won some. “I the most” sister says. Wolf gave a shit, but he is the only one left. Numbers don’t lie. Scarlet was said to be guided for the heck world under her feet. Gruff she got goated in Hollywood. Ba’al is her favorite and she rock climbs, ironic. Wolf mutters “I’m lost and happy. ” your wondering who’s talking to who right. Snark tank. Curd the cheese. “He’s sick” the TV says. “Don’t you think I know that”. Don’t you think I might for my job. Wood Tree save you. Mushroom feet. My sons the two of them harvested from my feet. Blacken ops pitch blacked. “she went black, sorry” says wolf. “Why should I be helping anyone,” wolf ponders. Way to through a pass to your self. Wolf laments his losses. No stranger to empty words like this now. The time passed what is he going to do go to the time police. “I simply failed you,” said the worm in his brain. He drinks… so. Flooded that cloud. Was sent for wolf.

Jr, wolf, sister, and TV are all sitting in a circle. Jr really likes sister and the TV usually is the only one who gives wolf a chance. Wolf thinks he better than sister for his unearthly happiness. Jr keeps his distance from wolf mostly but has agreed to this now. The four are one. Blissed out of their minds at the beach in the dark. They begin to change faces as the shadows cuts their faces in the first family of God. The four head for the water perhaps never to be the same. They all had the same chill then were crazed by the water. The waves throwing their bodies. The only tree there watched on and began to speak. “Ye little ones may the moon have you dance. ” wolf started then believe it then they all did. Each limb sprang and fell and moved about. Wolf was naked and cold away from the others by the tree. TV was trying to kiss sister but she turned her head. Jr took his clothes then and went to the tree. Jr fell asleep wrapped in beach towels. Sister look like she thought not to much of this and stayed with Jr as their minds began to separate.
The tides were warming. The best part of waking up is cheap coffee. The authority figure was manna of loins so what. Jr and sister went to get coffee because they had a few bucks. TV bought cheap but had a stash in the freezer. Best to have an occasion for the good stuff before it rots. So the unseen is also patient. If you beauty be truly fair then it should be no discourse to your honestly. Perhaps not or maybe yes. Wolf began his morning by moving slowly. “My sense of smell isn’t all ways a good thing,” wolf explains to the TV. “The meaning behind things. “ The Pith.
It’s not bad for a computer. Predictor um no. Seek and communicate yes. Numbers don’t lie. The hive of the one mind. Hidden value. Matt is truly yours. Regards. Night writing is the worst no good comes of that. Only technology read a book. The v card? It is not in place. Matt is wondering if Brett will find a job. Matt got the family thing going on and not much outside of that. Brett is a Texan. That is all that need be said about that. Jr is wanting to reframe the question, the living question. Wolf is a bitter loser but lost and happy. I guess the diversification is moving toward a single singularity. Good advice life is short. Beating around the bush. Matt needed drugs to be suspended there longer to feel he was doing real work. He was used by them assimilating information from him then they push the button and he wakes. He’s been in a den before in settings that we’re ment to be comfortable. The best Matt confesses to know more about their tricks.
Matt is climbing a deer stand with his dad. His dad has a rifle. They spotted one deer but it was a tiny doe. “So luckily we don’t have to get our hands dirty, “ says Matt’s dad. Brett is wondering about how Jr got the invite from sister to go to the beach and who would want to go when wolf was there. It not like he cared much. A passive fool. Matt and Brett were friends that minded separate things then the others. By now Jr mind was separating from sisters and the TV but not wolf! Brett was well informed. The beach group did not know Brett like he did them.
“I’ve seen mountains of men before,” says Jr. TV as superficial as she is liked the thought of a man mountain. The coffee was finished and sister had gone back to her car to put a close to the long weekend. “The long six years are over, thank God,“ Bret says to Matt “I knew her not even though he worked in the industry.” “I guess it’s time to hate the system again,” Brett responds. “The computer is working so well for its age” Matt says. Keep the light on cause it gets dark.
We exist fantasy, reality, and truth. Digesting our substance every day. Part Opal, part hateful goat, and part sin. To all the love given to your neighbor in place of you. “Don’t be ridiculous Matt,” Brett says. “Glad to be so useful” caprinicas or something. Gravity heavy.
You have a ear. Good. Now know. Gentle knave. “Where is the story arch, “ says Jr. TV is smoking while parked. Those flags and isles. Matt is acting like a clown. To remember they all were one for a short while. Sister is moon sick. So now wolf thinks he has a shot at getting some. Not.
The glowing round thing is real. That and advertisement fm & am radio. “Make things up Jr,” says TV. “the truth is in your wrist. You were tagged, ” Jr. says. “In formula triangle I always pay the price,” says wolf. The three were seeking their maker. Who was behind this happiness. Where did it all go, funneled in the third eye in pain. Open to the pulpy orange juice. “Suppress and regress,” said Jr in his wisdom. Sister was by now in Paris shopping. The TV and the men were deep and down in the boat heading to some land descent for the horizon. Bret and Matt were now in com range on a ham radio. Bret says “Are we talking to the dead again?” TV replies, “I get it that’s would be a bad thing. “
Personal plug here. Part-time friend. Author note~ I performed a song for my mother today & I’m teaching my dad what I know. Guitar love my friends. Matt took his shift then enjoyed moving forward through the hall, the vestibule. “Need me I need you around sticking to you like glue,” says TV. “Does this help you?” Everyday is the first day of school and it never ends. “Good luck, it’s a marathon not a sprint.”
Wolf is the bellows of the brig eating jumbo. It was good jumbo. Wolf was on the thin side so what he had a great lay of the land. Jr on the other hand had a keg belly and took the role of being captain. The three liked mixing things up with a gentlemen’s game of ship captain crew 6 5 4. TV was in the crows nest smoking looking into blackness. Jr was on the radio with Brett and thought why rush things he was making a 6 furlongs every hour or so. ‘So what’ was on everyone’s mind and before that he was mad with the saying ‘get on.’
The deity dwellith. “Caution she is mostly serpentine,“ says red eye. The leviathan, the twisted snake. There is really a computer mind sent not by jelly fish but a chair, and I believe that an alien was sitting on that chair high on mind drugs putting me on a meta radio feedback. Japan was the English said then it went into another language. TV was telling Matt about this happening that happened at the witching hour. Matt says, “How does the movie part work?” TV says, ”the chairman is watching the same movie clips he is projecting probably to tie an ethereal link. The movie was telescoped for the chairman’s trance like method not unpleasant I might say. “ “Is this a thing” says Matt. “Yes, a alien thing,” says TV.
“Catch me,” says sister. “Stop why,” the guitar says. Tie a cosmic melody either tied by voice or drums. No one gives a shit about your feeling because everyone is so needy. “That and everyone is a know it all except where it counts! I don’t know,” says guitar. Back on the boat Jr looks about that whale of vessel that has been weathered continues to plow through the water. Icey waters but beautiful. Jr can’t run for office because he’s a bad actor. Making coffee for sixty grand for a campaign was nice. The work with wolf was a two part basically. One make coffee and drink beer. The three will be antarctic bound soon after they enlist the proper personnel. Who knows how long that will take heck maybe they will get some seamen from Japan.
Hot blood hold my hand… pouty eyes not haughty. Still complete shit. “When will it be my day in the sun,” says part wolf part fool, those yes, no compassion redeeming for us like wolf. “Two and me bitch! I owe¿ a lot of money to my better half.” Lots of time in the third eye. “Go figure how does that work?”
Le ohlem to art it seems. “yeah, getting better with persistence. You must of learned that from sister,” says Jr with a laugh. The boat had a way of making music, the banana boat coined from their need for sunscreen. Wolf was doing very well being the prospector by finding tuna on occasion, sorting out business negotiations and had a good sense about him. TV was working on her wood carvings with a plan that her art and crafts would sell on land. Jr says, “my dad told me when I was a young lad that we should ice fish with a bottle of Jack. I never made that invite due to wanting to chase women instead now look at us on icy waters giving a go at crab” TV was fanatic that she would catch a marlin one day but it was crab season. They fish but also do charter to earn some extra cash. They didn’t know if they all would commit to being salty dogs and not kill each other.
“Calm, that is sanguine hot blood you know they just don’t won’t to let you in the circle Jerk,” said TV. “The indignant dignitary short choleric not tall plus tolerant that is,“ TV says. “Are we all we just hitting the fourth wall together,” says Jr. “Abdicate from middle you far winded knuckle heads,” says sister. Oh the story needed a bitch. “TV was on some kick about being a kid again”. ‘Irrelevant…jibes me jibe you premonition hostage.’ good. “I’m sure it was something important,” Jr said. It’s called a girlfriend. Get one ‘radio fuzz.’ ‘It’s all we got’
“The flakes of snow Antarctica in our visions.” Jr laments. “oh gosh are we there,” says TV. Wolf angrily says “we’ve hit the fourth wall It’s nothing but illusion, the great Maya! “I’!l give you twenty bucks to tell me we’re the #&+:@’ we are” says Jr. Wolf says, “the ship has become a whale with its own mind my friends, it’s own destinations…”
“Is there any solstice in being lost?” Jr says. “I don’t think we will die from this just being annoyed that the life is zapping life out of us,” says TV. The blue thoughts seems to abound. “Get your energy right, partition your brain to the new memory format.”
The waters are warming. “When do you think will find land Jr? “ says wolf. “I thought you were our guide? “ “Yeah I guess we’re heading closer to the equator. “ “Not only is TV acting like a kid she starting to be isolated, spending a lot of her time in the crows nest.,” said wolf. “Dear God she losing it staring out at the stars, a star gazer!” “Teph, Teph sah”, TV murmers, no that’s not right what is it it’s something, no no I don’t want to go in the hole again. Posiden have them. No snakes to big good. Teth yes I losing my marbles. My heart moon mine!” The winds and air is falling on the whale. “Go check on her wolf,” Jr says. “TV are you OK?” “Yes I’m fine… I miss my mom.” “what?” “You don’t have a mom you’re an orphan.” “Am I? “ “Look we’re getting closer to land you’ll get a chance to sell some of your sculptures.“ “I through them in the sea. I thought that was the smartest thing to do. They all were bad.” “Do you want to join us for some music on the poop deck?” “yeah I have been thinking about that song, the third one. Net Net Geb Hod Bin Geb run. Snake bitch!!!!!” “Yeah that’s the spirit.”
Two big puffs, no make it three. Smoking in the crows nest. Then the last drags it is put out. Who are you mad at? This is just something new. Virtually fed up I guess. I’m back to not trusting anyone again mostly my math and spelling I guess. I don’t now if it’s the 25th my skin is on fire it is the 26th. It’s a bad guess is all. Yeah I suppose so. Shit me and the 40 choir with our only music that is to be. Look land. Try for some R&R and shit make some thing. This science is something scary it makes me wonder what the endeavor is. I can’t wait for you to be Kurt Cobain I need to have my nice things. To quote from the Masters of Hollywood’s finest. I thought LA was destined to be under water. No that crap is morally already under water with everyone in it now you know. Dead to me for sure. I’m the numbers guy and you can be the tax man it’s the way we can work together. The other guys can suck a lemon. Yeah the rest is not free it’s cavalier thieving time, the MTV generation just look at it if you can stomach the times. Forsaken cities just name it by God. Anyone could but didn’t. Fuck them!
R&R alone on the beach again. Nice breeze. The sand and the song. Holy shit get there. “You start over, but it gets easier every time, “ says guitar. Say goodbye to the gemini twins.
The boat sits asunder at the port docked. Jr can’t believe he got snaked by TV and wolf they left in the night. Jr’s on KP. “Time to get things in order,” Jr says. He has to start to find charters and some new game on fishing. Indian Ocean. “What the heck kind of food am going to find here, dead cats dead rats!” “Bunch of rice on the cheap for provisions I guess.” “It’s about my time I get R&R if Guitar was not such a slippery first mate.” Bret has hardly lined anything up for Jr in business. “One is the breath the other is the lung when netsah and tiffereth in gypsy math,” says Matt on the radio. “Where’s Bret, I’m behind on business deals,” says Jr. “I’ll patch him in.” “Bret here.” “I having a hard time here Bret.” “Yeah well you only pay me B team money.”
Potato soup! Boiled Eggs on salad. Four boiled eggs, four red potatoes and table wine. No one was at the table and they were out ranked anyways. Oh looks like out by the Fore staysail she’s kissing him. “TV says to guitar how was that for you?” “Fine guess.” Jr bellows, “This is not some pleasure palace!” “Yeah well it’s hard making shit up!”
Apart from the deep waters with a whole lot of rice wishing bad things about my management skills Jr presumes about the radio crew. “Guiding me through the woods, oh what of the water.” Well yes TV was attractive but both her and Jr started to question their time as salty dogs. Wolf was strange to begin with seemingly impervious to this sea delirium. Guitar moves through the ship walking the track when people aren’t around like a mad man, back and forth conquering the space.
They prefer the dark. Don’t ask me why. Something about being OK. The head space is magnificent and honest. “What did I do about it, I hid. Beautiful. The play park of the country with its trees. The cat outside the cat inside. The empty place were there should be something. It’s almost entirely automated. The man in the box, can’t break out. Just everyday is seen by every and they keep collecting his shedding of spirit, a country of vampires! “Look I don’t know try something new, different!” “Oh yeah it’s all rigged, you can’t even throw a hot dog down a hallway!” “You get no love ghee thanks!” What did you think was going to happen I insight totally power by inacting absolute saternallia!
“So we meet again, my friend.” “Obviously it’s hard on both of us,” wolf says to guitar. “Thanks for calling the dogs off, ” Wine says, clumsy Spirit! Head to toe! Dot dot I think you know. So spells abound fool! The flames of fire wither! Sanguine you are Phlegmated. So now I bring this to bat that I say got my head back it’s not a fun thank the Lord. “We’ve been through a lot.” “Glad to have you here.”
“How do you memorize the words Jr?” “say it over and over written on the wall.” “I want to break through the gimmicks” TV says to Jr. “Accumulated worth with it.” No use in saying anything. Talking heads. Everyone’s the same for years. It is really hard to change one’s personality. Almost impossible. I’m rotting in the flesh nah maybe. Don’t try to understand white men, they don’t make sense, but suspicious one does make sense.
“I know I can do better,” TV says. “The spirit has left me what a relief! Thinking about the dread it was short root passing. “The big sleep,” says Jr. “Another ghostly night, I don’t want that money.”
“Let me say, the life and animal. It can happen depending on the animal. “The one that seems to be kicked out of the group,” says guitar. Wolf didn’t like being compared to an animal let alone a roster. “So life is an animal so that’s what I’m trying to wrap my head around,” Wolf says. “Either that or the path of the fool if that sounds any better.” The on going agenda was to try to make sense, but it was not easy. They must be showing weakness with some sort of narrative to what life makes them do. That makes things bad. Human, not a wolf, guitar, TV, or seamen just a human with days passing with no real reason but for a human to prove he is human. “We can think but there’s so many that drained fate dry to make the rest of us objects.” Oh holy simplicity, don’t worry I’ll do the thinking while the human fragments into objects multiplying it’s self. The creative wing of perverted voyeuristic consumers. This is all paperwork sorting out the scavenges of truth. It’s about the only thing that’s allowed and risked a lot for it. So time is your game slowly suffocating, smoking out my guidance. The age of the priest pushed by the TV. “Do you want to be a human or animal?” High entitled objects? The secret formula is strict and rigid to be part of the human race. Hope you figure it out!

“match sound,” good news. It’s OK. It only should get easier as long as you stay relaxed and maybe not drunk on rum. “Yes, your spell worked, you both have done well, only what is helpful is blurred or made to be confusing.”
No wine around just guitar. Reach out to the process. The first mate has the daily attitude distortion. Guitar mostly stays the same not changing. “So what does that mean? “ “I confess to tripping on dreams is all.” Both the wolf and TV seem abashed. On the ham radio “Jr how’s your weight problem, “ matt asks. “I got to lose some weight, twenty pounds, so shit I’m excited. what about business Matt I can’t save money worth shit.” “Yeah well that’s Brett’s department.” “I will see about getting those sculptures of TV’s to a buyer.” “Yeah well she might not have much of them to sell, so art is absolutely a hilarious option.” “Well how’s TV’s attitude been?” “Not much melancholic for to long, she’s good at being positive.” “What of brother Wolf?” “I really don’t know.“
Listen I guess here. Radio is free put Matt on. What! *I’m fucking trying to sleep. ‘yeah well we’re talking about a cardinal bird, shit they aren’t never seen. Yeah well don’t try pull rank on me you son of a bitch. OK gentlemen let’s refrain from that. I once had that light well of course I’m the fathom of higher dimensions so I’m old and cozy with the father of America! Well yes the cosmic horizon verse one, a bitch snake!
The snake what the heck. The one I shall say is part of the patron of the country so there. The model of our humanity pretty red jewels. Pale like bird poop. So. “I’m being told Matt would like to say something“ “Yes, moral is good toward attitude for the rhythm of the two years. “that’s great,” Guitar says. “I’m OK, the guessing has begun anew. I was supposed to gain musical knowledge Matt.” “I do have a couple of nonsense things that plays to something, right?” “So yeah nonsense in a practice might be a new way to approach style, but only as a guise, I do believe in making sense. It’s the lost art of common sense!”
Matt is prudent and on the pay roll with Matt. Two high druids of radio. That son of a bitch was right the time did go fast. Put him in a nook and cranny he’ll run out of options real fast. Relationships are good in the fragment besides the characters that have to make sense from things we don’t understand. So. Oh um a drawer that can play drums. “I’m down two pounds,” Jr says to sister. Yeah that character was one of all and four of a great time that there was a female around besides TV who is just a star gazer. So the bow of the ship is the front, or so I’m told.
At the gas station Matt ferries his boat. How romantic and unselfish don’t make me laugh. Objects become real, shit this my job! So a female around is in want. Yeah maybe a house painter. Four more sentences, I’d like to sleep. That shit should be on lock. Player of instruments, gamer era, movie enthusiasts. Must be able to have a pulse… Able to understand an lack of artist.
The master is very unpleased. “Who,” says Matt. Don’t drink from the river. What else would I call myself. Deep breath, I already did my hundred days in the pig pen get my drift. “Three times for me a lot more for you Jack hole, Yeah well, Jr says. thought I can bake pizzas with sister for work.” That is as bad as it gets, but for me I’m fighting with the toilet. Boy the seat is really on there. I want to start calling in favors. Oh that’s not how it works, bullshit! Next thing I’ll tell you next the fridge will turn on me. First we get the sugar, then we put it in the coffee, then we drink the coffee. What’s that worth I’d give you money to paint. Yeah paint, “I hated that place.“ “No shit Brothers right.” All married but me.
Things flipped upside down. Ton of bricks. Law of art is smoke and wine. “I think reactionary thing is good at times, says TV.” “Lost some of my perspective,” says guitar. About out of money, four more sentences. “I don’t know how to meditate anymore.” My virtual life sucks like the art of living. Sometimes real but mostly fake. Let me guess how another thing works, privilege and follow the leader.

 

Little_Wolf pt.2

TV does not think so. She beleaguer’s the beach surroundings, taunting, and flaunting her… well female parts scantily clad bra, shirt, and shorts. The summer was long and Jr was not the dad to some rag tag crew of hippie seamen and they no longer called him captain. Wolf as this is about him seems to be happy where ever he is like he has the ‘get out of jail’ free card. The unceremoniously sumarian not so good it seems to bind these fools once again to the ocean.

Sister has found witch craft fascination and Jr Fears she no longer has respect for him, in fact he is certain. She seems to gravitate to places such as Paris, in those places et cetera. “Pre-minnoctus abhorrium pendulum chimera chiro, black & blue and white all over,” she says. Toward the end you’ll agree. Sister waits for a distant need be happening to occur like a child.

For some reason the characters became anti establishment and lived wasted scared of their past regret and future worry. Wolf had felt good about being a beach bum collecting change for dorritos and liquor. He was in the Caribbean living his life in the sun. Jr was trying to find Jesus for vengeance. His saintly anger was amazing. How to unite these friends from the seventies with their birthday’s all being the same, the fourth of July.

The life was a living hell for the limbic person who wished to dream. When it comes to ravaging the soul look no further. “They turned on me,” Jr laments. “Got to get them together and buy an island.” First he has to save Sister from her enthrallment to fashion and bring her into education, the real world. “Those God dam pairs, the mover and shakers. Forgive me.” Jr was on pirate radio broadcasting to your address and he’s got your fucking number!

He awakes in his bed, zap! The fraction of day begins. “Listen! Bret we tempted the sea and lost, now through me unto me were hidden in caves waiting for the herd assination.” “What are you talking about,” says Bret on the Com radio. “Don’t make me say it again you devil!, we lost!” It was in-fighting. Jr was lying in a bed of sin and “snakes” his cosmic langum. Those dark eyes she makes me do the leviathan my… Wife

The captain quarters on the USS Denver were modest, but nice. He, believe it or not could do most things himself as long as he had his radio with Bret and Matt to guide him along he was OK. Time to plow some water to France. A lot of holding the wheel and looking in front of himself…

Jesus shows up in Jr’s boat! “Holiness it’s God!” Jr says amazed. “Jr your right eye belongs to me, and you know that’s my blood you’ve been drinking.” “I’m taking the wheel, I’m captain now!” Jesus says. “Any questions?” “Hmm ah, I can’t think of anything, I haven’t felt this good in a long time.” “The dark forces are endangering us all, I thought you could use my help.” “I could use the help, of course.”

“Where is the sun today, the clouds,” says Wolf. “Just a glimmer.” It’s a race to France, but Wolf was left in the Caribbean. To turn back would be what’s the line, oh yes tedious. This unfortunate lack of foresight is hard to reconcile. “OK, send Wolf on a helicopter and we’ll meet him half way, to save time,” says Jesus. “Good thing this boat has a helipad on it. Jr has inherited enough money to keep them going. Jr gets on the Com in morning when gets some coffee, and makes it happen by spending a lot on credit to get Matt and Brett to make the arrangements. Women scorned, Devil born Man bent, hell sent.

Corroborate a bullshit story, it must be post 2014 and these seventies kids must be old, but they had been traveling through the Bermuda triangle so time is irrelevant now, and I’m not even sure this is Earth as we know it. Earlier. “Don’t worry I won’t tell him you asked,” Brett says to TV. “Get in the fucking bird TV,” says Wolf. “This is not some silversuns pickups music video you bitch Jr is obviously pissed he spent a lot of loot to get us back to the sea.” Back in the boat. Jr is unable to hold a conversation with Jesus, but they got used to strong winds outside, but the wind passed inside by the two men was even worst. “It’s not so bad,” says Jesus the Master, but the truth was the captain’s deck was uninhabitable for the feint of heart.

“Before time where we, began, men,” Jesus preaches. “Mysticism is a dance, rack the brain and shake the soul! Jr says. “Maybe…” “Jr you are a man of wisdom,” says the master” Then let me say, I understand completely, with your past that is not, and speak to the spirits of the earth for not, void reason, give into it. All leader’s have ‘dragon poison” as it has been for long and yes, not. Author note. This, this I have not pleasure in arrogance like they need.

This isn’t sorcery not, but debotary “Get a B.” At this point their both wasted. “looks drizzly… some river sand… for TV.” “You have a crush on her?” Jesus asks Jr. “If there is; it has passed, now that two devils play the drums.” “Are you nuts?” “But there’s more… So a lot’s of interesting anticdole crap!” “Let’s go fishing,” Jesus says with a big sigh. Soon…

The next day. “Where closing in on your coordinates Jr,” the helicopter pilot says. Jr from his bed responds on his Com, “Oh good, I’ll see you on the deck.” The bird lands shortly on the helipad on the stern. “Glad to see you!” As they make there way to the captains deck Wolf says, “How long have you been out here all alone.” I have a person here with me you would not believe.” They find the ship empty. “He was here, the savior, he was going to captain us to France.” Now what brazen tenacity does Jr and his sea fancy have to say such things?

TV’s wearing some short shorts and Jr notices her fanny. “I mean, yeah Jesus was here, here in spirit, that’s what I meant all along guys, says Jr. “We head to France to save Sister from trending fashions. I heard she’s into whips and chains and things so we got to save her you guys.” “I actually don’t think that’s a problem, “ says wolf. “Oh I mean yeah sure me either it’s just chains and whips are expensive. Meanwhile in France Sister looks into her crystal ball. “Try as you will Jr you can’t stop me. France is mine! For thy shall have their Queen rule in her beauty! (beauty is a French word),” and she starts waving her hands over the crystal ball sending storms towards are hero’s.

Secretly Jr knew he could use Jesus’s help, but decided he’d have to do things, like all men have too… himself. The dying process, like hell we’ll accept it it in the face of nature, but inside they all craved it. This crew of salty dogs and helicopter pilots now brace for the weather heading their way. “Make sure the whirly bird’s locked down, it’s going to get bumpy,” Jr says. Soon the clouds move in and everything darkens like thousands of bats. Wolf lights his cigar, “Your move lady confusion.”

Less archaic or else the the rain may have us. “Less them more you; Wolf, take the wheel while me and TV have a drink,” says Jr. In dismay Jr see’s; in his glory, Jesus moon-walking on the water. To have something to live for, the last temptation. A woman cannot give you meaning in your life and you know that personally, so death we call mother, sin’s keeper. He obviously had in roads and dances with your frustration in endless patience. TV the impediment of the times I want to gnaw on your fucking bones, alas white as snow holliness and sacril. “So you can trust the moon to lie, her nature.”

“Yes, this is the way of acceptance, the long game most care not alas! We suffer our sentinel got lost misplaced perhaps,” say’s the helicopter pilot. “What the fuck no one asked you,” say’s wolf. “Hey no one ever asked me?” “If no one dies what do we care?” Sensation, exploration, and the prime directive play, record, stop kill the fun MTV. The cancer of it all. Author note. Be the change and let me go to work you fucking vampires, may the Lord of spirits strike me dead. I know the pieces fit/

As below so above, and again as before and before as again, twice. The half truth. The helicopter pilot retorts “where did you get your arrogance wolf.” “I’m no hippie asshole!” The two seem to be bonding. The weapon known as Jesus Jr wields to his pure happenstance. TV is by Jr soaked and childish with breaking through the storm, though she had fallen down during the debacle and Jr falls to delight and splender. The amorphous seven on call, it’s s been said and now their dead.

Janus the portal guard of old. “Oh lanoo I got you now,” Jr says. Word came in that sister is in Paris. “OK crew gather up! We will be coming to Port soon. I will be getting some aged ham, cheese, wine, and other provisions please make a list of reasonable requests.” “A suitcase packed with speedos please,” says wolf. “Haha you lady killer.” Jr will be going in alone to find the hip hop queen of France. Sister senses that the jig is up, that she was praying to Juno that she could just live away from the salty dogs to be married to some famous rapper. Why Jr tries to get to her is not clear.

In his garb, he walks. Jr in cognito like the frog stalk’s a misquote. If the lesson kills you was it worth it, all human kind. Some one will pick it up and run with, not you. “I don’t want to battle her every night, bitch, dick lord to the elderly.” Jr fumes his frustration. He’s close, and has to psych himself up. She’s close.

It’s dead. Just some way we all got played and leveraged. His almost unlimited affinity for the struggle. Was Jr duck hunting? Sacrilegious idea? He returns to his boat with a few less bullets. Wolf and TV get special yarn to weave a tapistry. They both return to the boat, “so did you find her?” “No, I wish I never came here.” “let’s play the cover song creep, am I right.” “I wish I was special…”

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Psychopaths of Face_pt.1

Psychopaths of Face

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

The assembly at the funeral was ready for the girl to sing to the mourners of a dead man. The dead man was her grandfather whom with the entire family had loved very much. She prepared a song to sing in which she could display her talents for entertaining. Her family was tight nit and were all attending for the most part and she began blessing the assembly with her voice with a tone of being somewhat detached and distant as she sang a country song that overall was very sweet and received well. The girl was only looked at as a girl because she was small in stature but in fact was a woman, but funny as it is both. After the burial she walked with certain adulation along with her cousins in the graveyard making chitchat about their dresses they had worn. She was in a blue dress and had a red ribbon tied around her waist and she had had golden blonde hair that had slight wavy curls in it. The day was beautiful with the open dark blue skies and glowing sun colored patches of clouds with reds and orange hues. They walked to their cars together then drove to a banquet room next to a church were a meal was prepared for everyone as the long event was coming to a close before life would move more into private and personal troubles that the reader will find out our next character is facing. As for her she finds herself at home lying on a couch in a dark room with the TV on. The night is very still and she has little interest in the movie that she is watching. She has been having trouble sleeping for the past weeks and it seems that she is lamenting a living soul. Her poor circumstance puts her beauty in question in her mind for she is does not have that much money for new clothes and isn’t able to afford traveling to new places anymore. She is stuck in a condition of turning wheels in her head thinking if only I had more money I could live in a warm and bohemian area. Was there a time for slavery to be so present in our minds, she thinks? Her day to day was like a distant need be happening not yet realized. There is no time for ice cream when her nature was so ingrained in her as such being born from a tree. She had suffered a traumatic brain injury in a car accident previously. She is only able to understand more that her injury had shifted her views perhaps. She goes on for days between work and her couch to occasional phone calls but is struggling with something of her former self, her child-ness she still holds onto.   Her adult life is primary set with living with her boyfriend she has been with for several years. She believes he is the one and likes to make him happy and stays with him through her intermittent will to want to get up and leave everything behind. She sometimes likes to act silly with people in a childish way saying ridiculous things about how the people in Hollywood are real nice people. She often sings her favorite song over and over for everyone to bring out her inner child connection with the cosmos and it’s will set things right. She just realized the gravity of time. She had just finished another shift at work and is happy to spend time with her boyfriend. The boyfriend is a very sensitive guy who seems to need her for a committed life as she does him. She does her best to assuage his fears that he is still important to her as she becomes mostly a roommate who just likes having a person around to share in the day to day. She lived and loved hard and found her way from the couch to the phone and then pass the day to day to designing a storybook for herself including wedding plans and a lifestyle in a real princess fashion. It is true girls just want to have fun, that is what her essence is all about, but that is madding. She drifts in and out of the hate for having her focus primarily on money, but that sad but true fact seems to be what she dwells on. “I bet there could be some get together of people of the same mind,” she thinks. “Why is it so hard to find a group of people who do want to do the day to day?” She looks for friends to want to spend time with her as she becomes more aware that she needs something more to do. Her job is only a means to pay rent and her social aspect is craving interactions with someone new. She needs something else to do. Her house has become a gloomy place with the burden of mold in the basement. Her relationship with her boyfriend is strained and they start to argue if they will still be a couple that lives together anymore. So there is nothing wrong about her other then just some personality issues that only seem to make her outgoing? So who will be understanding of the types who fear their lives. Set the stage and take the tickets. It all cost so much for personal gratification. So much of choice there is for what she cares to do. “Perhaps I could wait tables to get by if I don’t hate it completely,” she thinks. What was it that led her to doing social work for her job in the first place because now she decided she did not enjoy doing it so much, so young to be giving people bad news for a living. She is so determined she becomes a facet of time. Trying to have a clear mind and a good space to live in is the only way she will have a chance for her happiness. For it should be clear she is a art child needing to have time to express her beauty in what every form it need take. She is just able to get on better. Much better at finding things to do for there are always things to do. Something else something new, live more, love more. She is one that can handle it. There is so much that affords her in life the benefit of being young. She then finds her way to “summer camp” for two weeks but it happened to be the hospital and it was winter. Her energy and sleeplessness was all it took by chance to find him. The guy who it took too long for him to know his own nature found her beckoning to him. Under the circumstance they hit it off well and seem to be somewhat compatible though she was very approachable as it was anyways.   She may be better or worse off having met a guy like he. What could he offer as ways of advice to her because he was older and was supposed to in his mind find some wisdom to impart but that wasn’t necessary and she did not expect that of him. Mostly they just enjoyed having each other to talk to and became rather glad the other was with them. They share company for two weeks and then what else is there? The reader will simply need to know that this meeting was of by chance and from it what choices they will make having seen themselves the same for such a short period of time. She has met him in turmoil of medication error and will move on from her set back and carry on to get her will sorted out. It has always been about making oneself happy. She has always known that. If she could only know that he is not that different from her for only in the liberty of this country are their lives different, opinions aside it is true that love is dead, other than self-love most certainly. There is only that love for oneself and he is slower to realize that, and some people need a lot of time to be ready to care for others for being alone in the world is his dark truth and broken faith in humanity makes working for money the worst evil, the necessary evil of what we knows of society

 

 

 

Chapter 2

He was the best of us, he was the best its fair to say. He did some of everything and even played some basketball and skateboarded for crying out loud but that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. He is of somewhat athletic build of average size but has found it hard to do a game of basketball without feeling it strain on his body now that he has begins middle adulthood. He finishes playing some one-on-one basketball with and fellow who was around his dwellings and is winded trying to keep up the fight with a fifteen-year-old scrapper. He goes inside and pops the cap of a beer to relax, to bad for him he was left under that roof thinking to himself “oh no what about the finer things in life?” That was not for him. He finds his space shaping around him in his squalor and connections of what must be endless patience waiting for him to be that guy we all new he would supposedly be the big part of all and a butt of the joke hope for humanity. So how many last ditch efforts did the guy have you may ask? There were a lot of them I suppose. He can’t seem to get over the sounds that surround his living. The nut job of people he deals with makes it hard to get passed drinking and playing basketball. Always the sound of a basketball bouncing with some little brat talking to himself against his will to study and learn. He has heard a whisper in a brief moment of quiet but it has gone away, his fate was to be surrounded from noisy neighbors that he could not understand living there much longer as an option. He has been watching the same TV show for two years thinking it something other than a form of fantasy, which to him he is entirely wrong to do so. The best enjoyment he could find was a bottle of wine and watching a movie about surviving in a jungle against an alien predator as he eats a philly cheese steak sub then mixes a sip of wine in his mouth chews them together and forgets his lot in life if only for a short time. He was two aswell, his inner child has gone into the cosmos in search for help against this pain of society. His adult side is what makes sense of the higher and lower self. As adult he is simply responding to information as it is fragile like the inner child but is the part that survives in life to become most of the day-to-day living operator for him. An adult child is how he likes to view himself. The lower parts of self being more a child adult is simply concerned with gratification. The inner child is just as much of a part of the higher parts of his self only it is not forced or likely to remain as an intact part of the self as one loses contact with it’s cosmic nature as typical formation of being an adult in contemporary society makes it’s hard to stay. The cosmic nature is a creative force and a chief principle in ones connection with true happiness or so it may be thought. He says to himself “I’ve been dehumanized I know that now.” “There will be no more child’s play it seems the time is up.” For the past ten years he’s been wanting for scars to fade with no luck. To give up on things, but to have a personality of can do is entirely based on how he views his self in terms of looks and that is simple fact. His adult self has to hate how things have been nothing but prolonged misery of an existence. Living in squalor for what’s worst is his very time of privacy is up. The time is now to conquer the world while there is still time left. “I wouldn’t worry about it it’s just me trying hard,” he says to himself. A worry of actually being insane starts to concern him. His despair gets to him and his age makes it worse that there is nothing much more than boredom in everything. To just survive until he is not legally required taking medicine that makes him feel so discombobulated. It must be the injections he receives for his continued stay of commitment, why else would he feel so out of sorts? It’s as if his mind were a lighthouse encased in fog rendering the light unable to shine through to find any truth in his situation. They may take pity on him the few who talk or in anyway interact with him but none do. For what he is forced to do to get attention from others is the only thing he can by selling himself as an artist, philosopher, and musician is by no means easy. He reads some intellectual material he sometimes takes to the bar making himself stand out as the only one who chooses to read at such an occasion. He finds it much easier to read a comic book then to read philosophy at the bar for the limited need to focus on the topics. Most times when he’s at the bar he can’t seem to find anyone else like him. “There all just people trying to get away from their homes for a short while,” he thinks. That must be the commonality. “It’s personal but isn’t it always you know” he says to himself. “A way to remember that is, your own story that is whatever it means to you.” “So someone to put it to I guess.” “Don’t give me this unfinished story bullshit, I want to be in a better place.” To remember he was loved once but from whom. He need not know man preys on women at will when he wants. He finds self-reflection the only thing to do and has a hard time finding any way to be positive about being single. He would like so much to be able to have her in his life but just feels that he can’t sell her anything not even a story of a man. Insanity just insanity, good work but nothing but lonely misery. Stay of living so cold always cold for most of the year for him. He need be a person for Christ sake a person! The best that can be afforded to him with no social aspect to his life being it better to know what he does not like he must always ask in addressing his current circumstance. Truly one of his own kind and alone for that reason why? He can only do so much and it kills him that he must submit to what he’d be better suited for how he used to be, but now there is a daunting affirmation need to be fulfilled. It’s like constantly fighting off an infection for him. Collecting his thoughts seems to be his biggest past time. Rediscovering things and reliving some things, but why is there a purpose to be defeated undoing the meaning of things leaving them somehow not good. She is detached, he thinks of her as some sort of robot with some of her personality gone elsewhere. What is left is only textbook right answers that should pass off as interest. “You can’t make people like you” he thinks and does not know what to do about the friendship he’s tried to maintain with her.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

The universe works in mysterious ways. The time lines are merging as cyber empires and normalcy go. The work is done it is time to kick back and relax if only that were true. Getting on is the tattoo on his mind. A reality check is some small towns you never make your way out of, as the whole United States is only so big for the king of nothing. It seems what he wants and what he has doesn’t really agree with each other. It is time for him to find his nature and who is behind this, this prison type of life that is meaningless and why should it be dept slavery, love longing, and happiness suppression. The most important work in the world, defeat the snakes. Just talking and writing is a means to influence others. The whole despair thing as it happens to be only possessed by some will make people crazy. If not romantic than of a heroic nature all the same the art of living and the realm of despair have shown their faces to him in ways other than dreams. He didn’t know who to talk to and that a women needs to be approached and man supposed to prey. He is slow to understand women and now you know. This world tries to make both him and her less human as there cosmic nature is of no use on Earth. Cold, the first focus is always to how to stay warm. The king of nothing and the Cyber Empire have in some way connected. Turn on and shut off. The ability to manage states of unrest and undesirable circumstances is not easy. How is it one can be in the mood or motivated to live? It is a form of shopping, life long shopping it seems. I want this I want that sort of thing. How do friends and love interests play into reality? For him he is simply questioning the premise of life it’s self. If not in fulfilling relationships and no worldly success what can he do but question his life? His views and interactions between people seem to be hollow consolatory gestures. He thinks if woman are robots then it is the moon who is responsible for there programming. Then what of man? For surely there is a difference. He resigns to being his own resource a source called the hollow reservoir. He had been summoned to the woods and so he pools all his resources to assemble a pontoon boat. He works on building it for weeks in the driveway pounding nails in boards drilling holes and tying rope. How great it was for him to have enjoyed working so hard. His greatest achievement was convincing his two childhood friends to help haul it down to the river. He sets up camp and stitches up a tent out muslin canvas, branches, rope, and dental floss. He talks to trees and does the whole loony ordeal of marking his territory and of course is smoking tobacco. He wasn’t so hateful back then and could cry for the moon in his misery of running away from home. There is so much trash out there it is good to get away from it, so much for his going out at night, going nowhere at least he wasn’t so depressed back then but now writing this I see how depressing it actually was. This neighborhood is trying to remove him from this place it’s not healthy the way he tried to put roots down in it having committed his memories of the neighborhood in his large painting and having run all over the place at great lengths wondering along the river at varying distances and directions at time wadding his way in the river and even marching several miles into town all because it seems heaven had in the past mated with earth causing some men who feel lost and to be confused as to were they should be. The pang of the insanity hits him again. Driving and alcohol and some sort of task, anything really is the only thing he knows to do. He operates as a hateful man in his alone time if he is lucky to feel content for any length of time at all. The attention span for other people’s art is all determined completely by the vibe. The amount of time that can be spent making recording music and feeling creative are primarily available to him in the morning when he wakes up. He has moments where it is almost as if he is with a friend when he creates as he talks through the process out loud like a painter who pretends to have an audience. So eventually he fills as many roles for himself as possible as his own lover, taskmaster, driver, and reluctant friend. He has been leaving the house whenever he could whether or not he had his own car or money. It was his hometown bar he started to find a sort of sanctuary for him. He finally was happy I guess you could say, but then one night he found picking himself off the ground of the parking lot with police finding him there after a valiant fight with strangers witch ultimately lead him to being choked in a head lock to the point were he could not breath but fortunately the grip was loosened as he was taping the ground in shock before he would lose consciousness. They all ran once the police showed up and another trip in the ambulance once again in his life this time to get him treatment to see if he sustained any neck injuries. He receives a disorderly conduct charge and then finds his way through a long time of punishment for it. The length of time has made little say in his life as of most currently. Some of the same feelings of happiness and contentment are illusive for him most his commitment time. A vacation to not have to work with semi cold beer will have to do for him either that or the alternative of just doing jail time. Organize is simply waste management. A corrupt file, the darkness of space, and lose ends need that need be corrected. Living arrangements and career trajectory, but how to get on with some self-esteem issues that need be addressed with the only consolation being books and masturbation if at all. Getting off prescription drugs and living with the best treatment that one can find. Seeing a future is hard but living in the day is possible. A companion for the evening is in want. It all seems like habits to start only to eventually stop. There is a future you must know or is the past all there is. Obvious set backs and trauma he has to sort through. He sure could use a better antidepressant but then realizes that is not the real solution. The evil that reoccurs in his life is troubling and I guess understanding ones self does have its limits it seems. Psychological profiles are the way to file everyone neatly, everyone’s dirty little secrets they live with for their claim to life. Does one even think about redeeming themselves? I’m sure for feeling good is better than feeling bad, but then how does good operate? It simply wants us to know the error of our ways I suppose and evil does not care about having a conscious. The past is filled with the struggles sometimes siblings have their way of manifesting themselves as tormentors. The other tormentor being a mother who demands respect and show of love takes strange displays of a controlling nature and often makes for a bad family time, and if to many tormentors get together they become monsters amplifying each others need to subjugate thinking themselves as perfectly normal in doing so.   To have a life and not be a psycho or just watching the same recycled shows over and over how many times. The little things in life that build up to be troublesome to the psyche as it were are at the most devastating when it is only the blame that lands on oneself. My obsession is what, not feeling alone. I have been driven into seclusion to tell you the reader that when he had everything figured out then someone had to but hands on him then eyes too. I also think it would drive anyone insane to have their brain picked so much, the folly of an intellectual, but to the avail of what need be written for so those who are made to think their evil when their not get there say. For simply writing became an interest and option, much like his art not a common calling for most for it is the desperate and depraved it appeals to and a gift to hear the white voice. For all we know technology is what allows people to be happy in the most part, but there is more to the unseen to be made seen. I have little interest in science but more in the human capacity to know suffering, embarrassment, and pain. So logically the magic of art is to be the purer solution to true understanding a fuller picture of living other than what science and technology can offer. Those who retain a strong human connection to feeling oppressed may find ways to communicate this if some art is made about it. It is man that is magic. A simple cause and effect of his time spent and accumulated worth along with it. Life takes away some of his humanity for I suppose feeling, and by preference feeling good is the only meaning of life, but at what cost especially to others, the more susceptible people. He has discovered a lot of bad and pain and if I need say he has lost his humanity but it hasn’t been that long for him to know what is still ahead. Yes his life is not pleasant he seems to find ways of feeling that in the extreme. The drug respirdol shuts down his ability to utilize his brain but my brain is under the affect of that same drug so it is known now that he is my own struggling soul that happens to be very upset with society in what they will do to people by way of things such as forced medication. Find out how to get it repealed you might ask because I’m not even playing with a full deck and this story of mine is about serving this time for little reason at all. Six months is too long to have to take shots but this writer’s troubled soul need be spoken of but it’s hard and I need to find a way to tell the story with addressing the pain but enough for now of my resentments it is they who are committing crimes. A therapist has a set of eyes on me so no need to be overly concerned.

 

 

Chapter 4

He knows that depression is not real anymore there is only the life he has. It is that knowledge that there is a lot of bad in this world. One must separate themselves from as much bad as possible for too much bad is detrimental to good health. He has been surrounded by it causing him despair for simply feeling trapped and stagnant. To move more and make progress is the best though he knows its not easy to get help.  He must find his will and know that being persuasive is a benefit but concept he loathes. How many forms of persuasion are there? The truth of the matter is people hate helping others and this is a help yourself world. There are times that the balance can be turned to yearn for living again past learning, but life is a life long learning process trying to fight of the infection of samsara. The house he spends his prison sentences in has become his mother as if he’s living in her belly again. Really it is the coffee maker that is his home and wherever he goes with it will be his home. It is the art child that partly responsible for this.   Her ability to suggest and persuade is her milk and honey and she pays an awful price for it. Getting there always getting there but is there ever a time where one simply arrives?  Probably not for her at any great length of time in this world. The first instinct for a person of good spirit in this universe is to get out, but what ever this universe is it does not want people getting out. Each and every day people live in jail and would be lucky to have their life ended from the body. It takes about eighty years or so then what; try not to be reincarnated again to a life of slavery. It is said that there are dark forces that use people who then are the cause for a lot of misery to the masses for them to carry out there quest for power. Again he thinks he must be alone but can’t be at peace yet for the quest to have is on his mind rather than accept living in want. All the unfinished business of life but why is it that women hate him so. Even men have large reservations with trusting him for maybe seeing that he has no faith in humanity if only he could prove otherwise would he have a chance at being liked by others. It seems the inner child has brought back news from the cosmos. He wonders if he can understand what answers it will give. How even was he to trust the child to help if it was darker now in perspective cosmic knowledge for it has gone away only to bring back a message saying, “you are doing holy work and that cancer shall not touch you.” He finds the cosmic nature troubling as he has a hard time believing in himself and is not sure what exactly what the cancer was suppose to be. He now seems less able to grasp onto much direction for his time. He sits in a chair outside smoking and for some reason it no longer seems to be giving him any solace for passing the time. “I guess the time to enjoy smoking has past,” he says but most likely he will finish his pack all the same. “Only coffee for me maybe.” What fantasy is there for him to cling to.  For everyday there is a need for something that he may rest his mind upon. Waiting to come into his greatness is all he is doing. The lonely vacation or jail time what ever it is, but surely some sort of prolonged agony of his life. Spring is the season now and finally the sun has given more warmth to the house where he stays. He still is in the habit of wearing sweatshirts and jackets and sleeping with a wool blanket for it is still cold at times. He sees his face every day in the mirror and looks at what ever his reflection tells him. Is there too much sharing of personal pain in what he shows, my guess is yes. This guy is not one to say he is ready to go get them with a can do self esteem march on life just yet, but he is wasting into what is afforded to him his lonely guitar and paint brushes and even those he has a hard time finding fulfilling. Having no social interactions and having low self esteem make most things a kind of drudgery for he is supposed to perhaps be excited to move into some apartment as if it will be good for him. His will to love people when he has not much love for himself is stifled obviously to the point were he will even resent being apart of occasions he will have to attend. Perhaps there are some other adjustments that can give a life back to a man that has lost so much over the years. In the meantime it seems whatever cigarettes and coffee can offer him. Not much to live for is there for him. Suspended between gratification and progress the great balance that has been lost on him. Hard to understand but it is his private hell he must navigate alone to a point of resolving these issues. How the time of several years has prepped him to complete just a little more for there are still some more months to go. To be brought to the sidelines in life is what became of the troubled years finding a way around it however challenging for how things need to be done and settling for the low points is unacceptable anymore.  No more set backs! He doesn’t seem to care about other people much for how could he. The one thing that seems to be playing on his mind is the woman on the TV. He notices how nicely she fills into her outfits and seems to wonder more about wanting time to see her, but the silliness of seeing her that seems to lift his spirits that a man could like a women on the TV,  but it’s like she speaks a secret to him. Life again proves to be funny that way. There was his chemistry teacher that made an impression on him. He knew from the first day of class that she was a rare one and that he was lucky enough to deal with a good human being for that is in his experience seems to be an exception. When they talked she seemed to drift into a dream state as if she was longing for some private fantasy and she new that he preferred for eye contact to be that of looking to the side of the person for he dislikes people looking at him straight in the eye. This made her very appealing and approachable for him how she would notice and understand him without starring at him. This was one of the few people he had enjoyed in a long time. Well there are habits that become the man. What happened to the man he used to be? I think he is just on his way back to that person he left behind who had more enthusiasm towards forward progress. Without playing with a full deck how is he supposed to achieve greatness? The rigid framework of a mental illness is what thankfully for some can see as bullshit. A job for some extra money would do a lot of good once that threshold for it is built up again. One month is a long time and three is even longer. He remembers standing in a jail cell; here he was staring out the doors hanging his arms out the openings. Constantly wanting to see other humans and trying to engage them. There was someone at a center desk some of the time and a person who would walk through the circular jail cell room. The night spent there was short enough and there was a breakfast of French toast with some orange juice given to him in his cell. The woman who was working that night wanted to tell him he was going to need thousands of dollars for the trouble he has been found in. A simple yellow light turn light that he drove on perhaps to late, but did anyways not noticing there was a police car behind him gets himself cuffed and put into jail for the night. He submits to a breathalyzer test and blows a .08 the exact lowest point of illegal levels of intoxication.

 

Chapter 5

The king of nothing, what a mystery for people to try to view themselves in such a way, for this must be some person who doesn’t seem to fully understand their self. Having nothing and being able to live that way or to say making his living from nothing is hard to grasp. What can he do with wire, pliers, newspapers, and glue? A recording of time with nothing but what he can create in small moments of bliss and anguish by assembling order out of chaos. It is just stuff and just something to do until enough of it is done to be something. The idea of enjoyment is very private for him. It is something good enough to do to commit time to what else? The whole thing need be redeemed somehow that together these separate pieces of effort be called a collection of work from a human being. He thinks back to when he worked at a target store. How phony the operations were there. I bet some people could make it there but he was working two jobs at the time when he was eighteen and then one day they let him go in some passive aggressive way because the trial period of work was over and they did not want him anymore. He had started work from a young age then came a time that he has found his way out of it. A need to understand a work history with large gaps is his problem. I guess he just never found a job that was a good fit for him to work for a long periods of time. His goal some day is to have an art portfolio and eventually hold down a job. To have a bachelors degree and work maybe is the best plan then just degree hunting further. The empoyment gaps in part can be explained partially as time focused on art projects. Understanding is important. What does it all mean? A lot of it is between the refrigerator and toilet. Maybe everything isn’t funny but there is art and the artist somewhere between the vicinity of the truth and the farm. The home has taken on a personality and uses his mother as a sick computer file that makes her into a demonic robot because her soul has been tainted. It scares him to see this side of evil as the house has a bad energy that makes those who live in it crazy. Remember everything is wrong there is a corrupt file that has infected the program of mother. A force that has gone the way of will to subjugate another and will to have control over another is this perverted computer mind that is tormented and can not ever seem to get things resolved to being good for conflict is what it seems to favor. He is his mother’s absolute plaything and this is what hell means and is like. While he is in the house he is miserable unfortunately this is what he has fallen upon. As I’m writing this I can’t explain how life beset itself in such an awful way to feel pain so deeply for him. For a well to do family there is no going back to the house you grew up in to live with a parent it is not healthy to do so. Living sick is what I can tell you of him but he knows what not for. “Why am I made to feel so much pain,” he thinks. Life just took him for a ride and dropped him off at his mothers with nothing but trauma. I mean Jesus Christ you think he would have at least had sex or had a good girl friend nope nah that would mean life gave a shit that he was living. Ok well at least you would think he has friends right? Wrong again. Building a life from a pile of shit, all hatred for at the age of 29 that much pain of being hospitalized 5 times, drugged, never loved, no wealth or friends you tell me is that fair.

 

 

Chapter 6

The Earth has become a corrupt program that is a jailhouse. Heaven had done something wrong in allowing this place. If I write about a person who knows this what hope does that make for the author of the universe to write a better story. It seems that everything is evil, this whole life at best was about knowing the error of our ways but what is it that he’s done to have to live like this? “All that life has taught me is that I’m not good enough to deserve to be happy but why,” he thinks. “All those friends you never get the pleasure of meeting.” “I wonder if I will have to be killed by someday if I were a snake.” He thinks back to when he found a snake in his boat. “What is it that made me do it?” he says wondering. “Some fear of having to handle it I suppose.” “I don’t know what to say about it, but then what is it about the snake that it in my memory causes such fear?” “They seem to look and move like some sort of hallucination that is why their frightening.” “I don’t mean to pick on misquotes next but some things about life just doesn’t make sense.” “I want to believe there is good but life just seems to be rain and snakes.” “I looked it in the eye and it did not see me as a friend.” “We talked and I think we both knew what was going to happen.” “It wanted to be found and it wanted me to kill it.”   “I have eaten part of the apple and killed the snake and live my days out on Earth trying to believe in a father in Heaven.” “Make the most out of it and try to be self-sufficient is the knowledge I was given.” “I want to make it work with what I got because ultimately that’s all I can do,” he says. The rest must be racial memory. It’s like saying some animals are not good. There must be a price for knowledge of good and evil. The snake has a cosmic nature and influence to it and was somehow brought into creation. He often wonders when he walks down to the river where the next snake will be that took the other’s place. My tree of several that came before it was in to his house where he lives. The ones that came before it didn’t make it, quite a bit of them. This avocado tree is different it was planted by seed and by chance grew and has been moved into it’s bigger planter by the window in the new room of the house. I think he enjoys the tree as it affords him to care for another thing. A lover of things that can be more than things but living things that is apart of this world as well. The trees are all blooming now at least the ones that are alive. Some rain and the greening of the trees that in the past made more of an impression on him. This seems to happen every year but some trees fall or stand dead but the vines don’t seem to care if it grows on something living or dead but seems to favor the living. The day was cold and he was transpiring to the point of karate with trees. Who was it going to be this time? It was number 6 the Jesus tree that was the one who bore his dark secrets in his shadow. If at times they have written of him he is a god or the devil he also was a dead Adam who has eaten some of the apple but knows his mother not. To feel oneself die while living causes new worlds to open up full of mountains and dragons were there is a dark fortress. This dark world be it somehow a place that invites a certain kind of artist to merge with but this soul is at odds with things. He then calls on the dark one with traveling skull carriers that in his dance, theatrics, and fire afforded an audience with him. A simple message he was given with the glowing red smoke in his chamber from the medicine man saying “I want you to be a man,” and then as part of magic reluctantly he began sleeping like a snake while awake” for a prolonged spell. He felt as if he hasn’t slept in over a year with his mind on constant defense and attack he was battling against some hard-core witchcraft for around thirty days before the worst of it was over. Some taste of dread can be recalled when unearthly parasitic organisms caused pain to his body making it impossible to rest. Fighting against sickos has been some of the worst experiences he has ever had the un-pleasure of knowing.

 

 

Chapter 7

A bat has attached itself on the exterior of the new addition of the house. It is this house now that has bats and a skeleton under the garage. He begins to see life in two ways work and play. He is afforded this way to be an artist and get paid regardless to work as a citizen of the United States of America who is mentally disabled. So then how’s that worked out for him? It has been the only ticket to moving out of the house and seeking a job that would be one of those things people would say as a career rather then just something to get by. Having an intellect of art in all its forms takes skill in truly blending reality with fantasy with truth. Bored and somewhat of a sloth he has nothing to lose except that he does. It will get better for him but things take time he is just really sensitive to time and needs to find someone to defend beside himself. He would be the perfect boyfriend for someone because he is a strong person and someone could see that he is a good person and they could defend each other in life. It is time that he finds his space brothers. A house in space and full of stuff that is how he saw the future he finds himself in now. It was either working with monsters in his room that he was locked into or people using other people’s fantasies much like virtual realities to pass the time. The ability to know these couple people was of mixed emotions and it is strange the type of work they do and this writer knows not what he should presume of them. Some sort of halfway house in space for people that have addictions and dependency issues is part of the impression in its lesser form as it may appear. “Not a whole lot to live for is there?” he thinks. He is somewhat disheveled and knows that his mood and self-talk have been things he needs to work on. Animals have some impression on him as do women and he meets the ones that come across his path and short conversations may be had then something else to focus on. Living in the moment is all he can do. It became his inability to rest well that he has lost that side of life he is just constantly on edge. There then comes the moments of gaining progress in being independent. Then there is a work he pays money to do which seems pretty absurd about college. That is the highest point in life he has reached and is so close to another college degree. It’s the constant looking forward to the next moment that makes for misery, but is the hope he gets a life that can be better. There is some more time he has to do in the squalor of his mother’s house and the best he can do is drink coffee in the morning alone on weekdays and work when he can push himself to make art.   Life affords him a lot of time for self-reflection. Others have noted the constant complaining of his life at this time. He knows he is a good person but has a hard time seeing good in anyone else. Just being stuck with art is tough. It could be worse but his depression keeps sinking to new lows. He can’t believe it is normal for him to feel this bad for so long. Last happy memory for him was painting and drinking beer and also using his mind to try to understand the universe better while reading a certain book. There is so much we don’t know that actually makes up our reality besides the choices we get to make along the way. If his biology can be brought to a better feel good level then that has to be his focus. It becomes scary that being happy seems like an illusion to him, but he has faith that he will feel better when he leaves this house and the neighborhood that has defeated him and drove him into despair. Soon he may have his own place and do stuff for himself but he is just so time sensitive and can’t see to many positive things in life. As much as he understands about what’s important in life is good sleep and stress and anxiety management. He remembers while he was in the hospital. The fact that he had one time in the day to take an adivan for a short period of time while he didn’t always take it he then would start to take it after breakfast each day until they would not give him the pill anymore. He would much rather still have the adivan to have then having cigarettes.

 

 

Chapter 8

Why was he the best of us you ask? He was the only one who tried to be a force not entirely of this world. He loved getting high and getting inspired that seemed to be what he was meant to do. His art as it begins to express it’s self more isn’t commercial but deeply personal. The privilege to make art is entirely based on effort put forth. To be able to be a guide for others is now his life’s calling. To have the means of hard work and experience finally allow him a sense of peace is what he deserves. To have a job that one enjoys seems to be what life is all about. What is it that life does to stop him? His own sadness about something perhaps his dark experience not changing enough for once one lives in despair to long it becomes a handicap. The need to remember that he has a life outside of his mother’s house and for eight years of taking happiness suppressing drugs is the problem. Having no serotonin to use to feel a shred of self worth has been horrific treatment. To solve for a person who can get manic at times it is then ok to permanently say he needs to feel like shit instead, is that suppose to be right? I get feeling down temporally some times about things but to feel that way for long periods of time is devastating to soul. I can’t seem to believe getting manic at times warrants this awful treatment. The only difference from the hospital and his mother’s home is that he has internet privileges and is able to smoke cigarettes. It is important in life to control your feelings. It is just cigarettes, beer, and fast food companies that want him to be a loyal consumer it seems. The world doesn’t appreciate him as being anything else. Control your feelings and buy things, how to live for that. I would think for him he can only do those things for so long. Life is interesting when you become able to feel emotions genuinely and splurge on things sometimes. A guy just needs some love sometimes rather than just making everyone else feel good all the time. All his efforts in sharing his music and art on the internet has been just a personal project it really hasn’t gone anywhere. His 2d and 3d art is all he can do with his time when he feels good enough to do it. Other then that it has been trying to stay warm in his mother’s house for the basement is cold all year round. He so far has been at his mother’s house for two years and has completely ran out of things to do for himself there. He has smoking breaks and journaling and watching downloaded shows. He is looking forward to a higher quality life around the corner. One were he gets a sense of independence and progress on goals. He remembered the intense focus he had last time he moved out of the house to be a student again. He made several lists and was on the internet searching for apartments and gathering transcripts making phone calls using all his means available to afford rent and groceries. Then really pushing himself at school getting good grades all while living in apartments that where far too loud for him to rest well. Then one day it was the straw that broke the camels back and he just wasn’t able to stay well adjusted anymore. He was traveling quite a bit going to New York, San Francisco, Yosemite Park, Los Angelis, and Idaho. Then his escapades driving away at night got worse   It is also worth noting that he tried his darndest to meet some girls he was interested in with nothing but wasted effort to show for it. Those two years went fast with all the work he was doing in school and drinking in his spare time. His past two years has moved incredibly slow because I guess you could say that he liked being busy more and taking care of himself much better then not being independent because he enjoyed grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and relaxing at his own place. It starts to happen to him in October when the weather cools that he begins to have troubles with things. He now needs to have plans put into place that he can handle those things. No more can he deal with certain family members around those times. I don’t know about living in a van at a walmart parking lot but some backup plan would be nice. I don’t think that will be something he would consider because the stupid rule of not being able to have a savings more then two thousand dollars means that would do no good. The ability for him to budget and have money to save would be good. Access to school loans may do a lot of good, but he will have 2 months living in his apartment before school starts and a road trip so that makes things real hard to start out with finding any money to use. Four hundred fifty dollars he’ll have and he might need one thousand two hundred and thirty and hope he doesn’t need more for last month’s rent but who knows. Life is giving him another shot. To have his own space to operate in and to study and relax and focus more on goals will be nice to have again. The most important thing is to never live back at his mom’s if at all possible. To get a job and start to have a savings is now his obsession in life. What kind of work can he do with a bachelor’s degree there has got to be something? The hospital and banking and college industries are huge but he would rather work at a liquor store or something. He is torn on the subject of having a saving because he never really ever built one up before. The best thing he’s done is pay off his credit card once. Maybe just living extremely cheap until all his desired schooling is over may be best for complete focus on a career. 2018 have a bachelors and start a masters degree in 2019 for two years and prove he’s worked in the art mediums.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 9

Calling people up and going for walks, beer, tobacco, and guitar practice with some effort on art and to chill the fuck out for he is so anxious all the time about his interactions with people. He calls her hoping not to be foolish but in a loving way of wanting a friend. She is nice enough to text back that she is at work and is sorry she can’t talk. She had said that he can always text her and he should focus on how nice it is to have that chance to be in communication with her. The king of nothing is in ways happy but would like to be a person who can call on others to set up his work. A list of materials needed and a space to create full time would be amazing. So many sidetracks from actually doing the work. The production of work could double or triple maybe as things get arranged. How do you deal with life is every ones task. The artist who can live in his own place by his benefits then take on more work as the threshold is built up for it. A production of work for parts of the day with several projects to work between and the assembly processes more familiar. It would be awesome to be a productive artist other then the little time he does such works. Art is expensive to make and takes a methodical mind to ever get anywhere with it. His playing ability on the guitar has been improved as he can practice little songs he puts together then sings them on guitar while recording video. What has been funny about life for him is that he finds some of the most fulfilling experiences are when he dreams. There is no doubt some forces that connect with his mind to make him feel good give him some mercy to guide him though the mystery behind dreams for him that is the only sign that there is good somewhere out there. How life has always been and what he wants gives him a shred of hope that there are still options for him. He will be moving into the best part of his life that is still ahead of him. He like anyone else will have to learn how to have a good time with himself. It has always been about making oneself happy that isn’t easy but is the driving force in life, and what does one give up on pursuit of happiness you might ask. It is the things that prevent one from attaining happiness. To love yourself is to do anything for yourself to feel better. A plan is in motion and the sheets need to be cleaned. The beard is only a distraction much like most things in life. The true aim is to be in control of ones own happiness with some pretending if need be at times. One thing remains for him that he try again to fix what has been a broken part of himself. That be all that need be said about it at the moment is that he is going to do something for himself to try to feel better. Until then the basics of phone calls and follow through. His first apartment set up was a family pain like how he drove three hours to look around the Moorhead looking for apartments. He had to borrow his dad’s car and make a list from signs for open apartments. Then rent a u-haul and drive there with family. The whole trip with interactions with his brother whom has always pissed him off was no different that day. Moving is not that fun but the idea of being moved out is supposed to lift the spirits. His up coming move is his sixth apartment he will be moved into. The days that were worst was after his breakdown at college the complete breaking of the spirit while he pushed through summer school to get his associates degree he then lived at home for four years and lived like a mother’s boy who was just running away from having any responsibility. Reading over fifteen books and playing over fifteen video games if not more than those amounts he also worked a total of three different jobs during those years and was a regular jogger. Let’s just say he must of handled it fairly well due to his younger age.  I would have to presume for now spending time seems much worse, and if he is now to old to settle for that hermit living and the dead end jobs. Now the calling of affirmation of life that has been heard by seeing himself in her the one who was like him at twenty three all emotionally stressed out that the mind needed to be burdened with reality. The mind was young before and could privately take care of it’s self, but now he feels the need to fit in more and be integrated into society. I would say of him that he is not an alcoholic but one who would much rather drink in his off time most certainly. Spending time is tricky finding the art that one can find as a form of truth to prolong young age to confident man who has date money. So the parties that he had been apart or heard of the way to be a young man. Gasoline and fire and ninja turtles to the neighborhood being parked full to whatever beer could offer. He can give up cigarettes but not beer for to long and the childish need to be pacified never ends. A chance for someone to drink on a Sunday how strange for living is cursed to need pacification to not be burdened with the blank space. For what work has this writer done but to give the reader a real honest perspective of a soul that has had a commodity of misery. He has had a good eighteen years and then a rocky eleven years after that. The balance between child and adult is the difference between art and science, king of nothing and cyber empires, cosmic nature and mother nature, and not quite half a life being more bad then good. The house has overwhelmed him and life defeated him he wakes in the morning with everything abandoning him leaving him forsook of a peaceful mind. He is left with one safe area and that is his bed that he had put a magical triangle around. The rest of the house is taken over by restless spirits that like to torment his mind. For his best work has to be from sleep and going out of body to see the spirit world and long behold there is a spirit in this house who is female and most think the house belongs to her, wanting some one to make feel as miserable as she must be. Other than that there are guy pals who fear him because they are taught to for some reason probably how everything looks on paper claiming him a time bomb and bound to end up in the hospital. It has always been the house that has driven him insane and the way he gets fed up with people. Emotional distress is one thing but evil and cruelty is a completely different monster of the world.

 

Chapter 10

It just seems to be getting worse as I write about his story. Each thing about him leads to a troubling truth about lies he believes. I will always be a writer of truth, but perhaps writing of the soul has me concerned if it will ever be at piece for it wails in hidden pain prolonged for too long he needs to seek peace. The time is short. He has made a lot of time pass. He is a normal person who likes to have peace. It’s good that he has another shot at peace from this house. When he first had an apartment to himself it was clear he could take care of himself. His dad was always pressuring him to make money while he was in school and so he started making some money as a delivery driver. His grades weren’t great that year but he tried to enjoy using his space to be a comfortable place to live. He at that time was still obsessed about pot and gave up a lot to that pursuit. His hair was grown out long and he would do his own haircuts. He was reasonably happy and doing reasonably well over all. His next year in college was different he moved into a house with a roommate. He lasted as long as he could with the way of things but could not handle the fact that his roommate had a girlfriend stay at the place so much it drove him mad. He then thought that he should go to the clinic and ask for help with his anxiety. He then got a prescription for Zoloft and he now had adopted a dog that he wasn’t probably fit to have. He was doing so many things painting, 3d art, drinking, smoking, and even driving all the way to Minneapolis, and St. Paul and on his way he stopped to tape up art at gas stations then in school hallways and began dressing himself real poorly. Then the great escape from Moorhead took place he went to paint studio class and sat down with someone else’s painting and tossed some cleaning powder on it then made some paint marks on it and left all while he had been counting fifteen minutes in his head while he had his truck parked in the back of the loading area then preceded on a plan to drive to Duluth. He had awoke that day with a plan to rent a hotel room in Duluth and see a girl who he had called up after seeing recently. He needed wine and condoms. He got the condoms then drove then to a liquor store god knows were. He at this point thought he was Jesus and that he should not have to wait in line and said he was going to walk out of the liquor store. He punched an old man who wanted to stop him then the cops were called. He then was brought to his brother’s house and this time thought it was the ending of the world and missiles were being fired into enemy countries. He had no inhibitions and didn’t know right from wrong. At a high point in conversation he began talking about the universe and said, “Good is good” and felt that he was uttering a tremendous truth. He went out side and through a stick in the air and was convinced it disappeared. He then had the idea to take a shovel and strike the dogs neck with the thought that he would be killing it. His brother now got him into the car and drove him to the hospital and all the while he was trying to remember license plate numbers on his way there. He remembered everything but was in a state of drug-induced psychosis. There was more details that have been left out but he was not mentally controlling his emotions if he had the thought or the impression he would act on it instantly and was extremely impulsive and suggestible. This all would end up being an extremely embarrassing experience that he would reflect on nightly as he lay in bed after he became stabilized for months to come. In the telling of his stories he seems to build up enough energy to the point he breaks down then needs to rebuild. The severity of his mental illness is largely denied for he gets emotional at times then runs out of options. All the hope there is he can find meaning in his life and have some self-esteem. What about the few times he believed he had teleported in his car driving at night some how covering distances he can’t remember driving. What about feeling that he had someone trying to make love to him who was invisible. What about all the times he has cried about his own life so will the universe or God give him something to live for at all times, or does he have to settle for anxious loneliness more than he can bear? It’s like being on a plane most the time waiting to arrive at the destination for him just like anyone else that can admit that. It is better to love life by not taking medication truly that is his only excuse. The story has gone on for five months and one more to go still. This writer is one of the most helpful things for him to understand his mind. The mind this writer has is just as troubled as the soul it describes. The intellect and soul have to work together with any anonymous beings to afford a better quality life. I have been scrambling to find out the nature of his soul but to know my mind is what is entirely embarrassing to not have been as strong as the soul who endures so much now it is the mind of mine that is suffering. It seems I have some regrets for the innocents my mind possesses. I was to slow to get the big picture when I should of known I would be secluded in this house and worse in this bed for all the signs were there. I might of made it past one winter here but I thought the art interest would sustain me but it can’t. I should have had a stash of weed for these low occasions I could have tried to have had that available but lost contact with any weed dealers making for this to be some real hard time. I have let down my life by not understanding the way of the world and my true nature. I have been physically active plenty over the years and emotional and spiritually, but my mental and social skills have been slow to work for my happiness. I’m not sure that I’m supposed to have all of life figured out but smarts is all about taking advantage of what you have. Living this way has been horrible. What am I going to do about it? I can tell you his nature was he was a pothead. Does he need to reinvent himself or is that his mental and social solution. The pros are there but it’s illegal and that is the main source of the paranoia. Drinking and smoking weed have made him happy and that is where he left off before this whole mental illness thing that mainly stems from coming from a poor family. It comes down to work and play and mostly I have been doing jail time so that’s neither. He is fine. I need to get my life balanced between work and play so now it is I and now it is we intellect and soul.

 

Chapter 11

The anxiousness before a move is starting to present itself. Seven days tell he can move a bed into a new apartment. Sort out all his belongings and start into his way of budgeting money. He goes around the house for hours marching around saying all the things he’ll need to do. Organizing his things and chain smoking cigarettes. Thinking he should leave most traces of his time there behind him. Leaving some artwork mostly as he cannot move most of the projects he has. As he goes out to smoke so frequently there is a couple crows that have been doing calls for the past couple days like his friends maybe communicating good bye. Making time for his friend he is got to get that over with for his wedding then look for some part time work. He might be only be prepared to sleep at his apartment with a bed but plans to pack some clothes and pots and pans and dishes and silverware. My intellect is going crazy with anxiousness to get moved out and things put in place. All that smoking has given me a nicotine buzz. It is late afternoon I did the best I could to calm down and get into resting mode. All this energy has been lying dormant and I’ve been doing my best it seems to suppress it. The mind is hard to find peace and I wonder what that actually is. I am so happy my plans are starting to take shape that seems to be my biggest concern,  but to be wise and calm and bide my time like this has taken a great lot of patience. We have to make things work, my intellect and soul that we take care of this life of ours. Everything that seems to be in a state of blah can be transcended in some sort of fashion. It seems like waiting for a vacation like everyone else that is what spring break taught me in high school my favorite experience I’ve had. It was a lot of planning and preparation then an enjoyable adventure that was earned from the work of being a senior in high school when my friend and I road tripped to Florida for a week. Having a partner to plan things with and organize is very important. Some of the shit we got away with back then was amazing and with all the puking aside I don’t regret it. Both my friend and I had made it to our reserved campsite at St. Joseph Park on the bay side of Florida. We decided to smoke some of our weed we brought and had bought I think for sixty-five dollars, some of the best weed I’ve ever had. We smoked the whole blunt and ran a bunch around on the beach and talked to a tree and were having a blast. wwe ate a hamburger potato carrot and onion tinfoil dinner and before night fall I was puking in the woods and only on rare occasions have I ever got sick from just smoking weed and this was one of those times and I had to be dragged back into the van to sleep that night. On another note he got his first kiss with a girl at a dance club. She initiated it and had beer on her breath but she was attractive and it just felt weird but he had a good time. Yes it like being old thinking about the past and how it had some good in it. As for her she was into partying as well. She played softball and would drink and smoke weed in high school and that would lead her to promiscuous behavior. She felt that it was some of being young and dumb getting into those situations. She would admit she has binged drank and thought that at times it could be a problem. It was after high school she became committed to her boyfriend and eventually wanted to go to school in California she didn’t stay there long but had a lot of fun with the women’s soft ball team. After college she got in a rut somehow with some sort of lifestyle concerns. She became impressionable about certain celebrities and expressing herself. She believed in hidden messages that existed in music, movies, and TV. So she had the energy build up and all it takes is being around people to notice and her parents started to intervene and the fight was never taken out of her like it was in some way for him. I mean a fight to get through the crap. I have to do it too. Just the Cyber Empire that is the Internet to redeem time spent, but only for the socially inept one to get a shot. Is that the modern age of having an identity posting pictures and videos. For the longest time he had not thought much of Internet relativity mostly just used for some none promotional use. This was the days before the smart phone and the most popular thing among his peer group was gaining a friend count on Facebook but that is so stupid and he never felt at ease about the fakeness of it, but the way of the world is to advertise of promote one’s self. Gaining views or likes and having followers is complete rubbish but it is what’s available for people to do. It is almost like an art trying to cater to what people want to see in others by doing it yourself setting the example. Set the stage and take the tickets so to speak. It all cost so much but it’s free at the same time. A lot of people get to decide what reality is and that is what they choose to see and use the Internet as. It is a Cyber Empire and a platform for people to spray their message or narcissism or how else can one think their better then everybody else. Mostly a computer is meant to communicate information, but what can a human need to communicate using the Internet that they can’t do in person or on the phone? It makes us all look at screens to try to feel somehow accepted and liked. It’s as if reality exists mostly on the screens and talking lovingly in person is the illusion. Why is it necessary to whore ones self on the Internet. It must be the preferred way of information sharing today. I can’t actually meet a girl in real life but I can if I’m lucky communicate to one for online messaging. What is there to say and what is the point I share music and art images and sometimes rants about my personal opinions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12

I’m afraid some nights evil surrounds him, and he has that restless feeling that his body’s nervous system goes crazy. The best he can do to calm down is to lie on his belly and try not to squirm. It almost like there is some chanting or mumbling of a voice in the night inaudible but at short times very real. All this because he use to drink gin and get drunk then would communicate with the fairy world. He could live at home back then when he would buy Hendricks gin with pistachios and go about his leisure. This is the only alcoholic drink he got close to blacking out on. Some times he would drink too much lay in bed drunk then puke to the side of the bed. His history with alcohol has been troubling as he sometimes drinks to oblivion and seems to try to destroy himself. Beer mostly has became his drink of choice and he had found some wine he use to like to drink a lot but the spiritual side of it makes him clumsy and a fool. He feels good at his own place when there’s a pack of beer in the fridge and a bottle of wine handy with a kitchen stocked with food. He has made fifteen months with out drinking as probably some of the longest time since he was of age. He wants to prove he has a life to certain women he now has the privilege to communicate with. He is not use to having friends for quite a long time now and does not know why he has solitude so much. It is the times of solitude that he can grow in his thinking then show others that he is evolving himself. He had done a lot of little things in life so far and needs to understand that he has to remove himself from bad situations and that for him is clearly his mother and his brother. Life becomes finding people who are either with him or not in such barbaric terms. He can’t let dangerous people set him off. They will worsen his life. He was drunk around his mother and brother too much.

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downloads update

Downloads for music e.p.s are on site instead of an email link. I opted for this change for ease of use. Also, the Art & Poetry book is a download on site upon purchase as well.

-Joel Clark